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The Cool shoulder

Posted by Eric Wilbur, Boston.com Staff September 1, 2009 08:33 AM

Randy Moss apparently isn’t fond of Tanner Cooley.

Who?

Tanner, brother of Redskins tight end Chris Cooley, contributes as a correspondent to the latter’s infamous blog, “The Cooley Zone,” by scoring post-game interviews and whatnot. On Friday night, after the Patriots beat the Redskins in Washington, Tanner hit up the New England locker room hoping to score some words with Tom Brady. That didn’t happen, but instead he ran into Randy Moss. Cue icicles.

In an entry entitled, “Randy Moss is a Classy Guy...Not,” Tanner writes:

I began to gain confidence. I have no idea why but I decided to post up at Randy Moss's locker. I knew he was still there because all his s*^% was in his locker. A minute or two passed before he emerged from the depths of the locker room. I patiently stood waiting like a school boy in the principal's office for Moss to acknowledge me. Finally after waiting for several minutes.

"Whatchu want man?" He said glaring at me over his shoulder.

"What's up man. Do you have a second?"

Nothing

"I'm Chris Cooley's brother. I just wanted to see if I could get your thoughts on the game. It's is for Chris's website.

"Man, that don't mean s&%$ to me! No interviews."

At this point Moss had completely blown my mind. I never knew that Randy Moss, or anyone for that matter, could be such a b$#@^ after catching 2 touchdowns and winning a football game. Thankfully the awkward silence following his shenanigans didn't last long.

Enter Ben Watson, "Man, you look exactly like Chris Cooley."

You can liken my feelings at this point to finding an English speaking person in a foreign country. With what little dignity I had left I managed to to utter, "Ya, he's my brother. Would you mind (pointing at camera), this is for his website."

BW: "No interviews." he said in the same rude voice that Moss did. "But tell your bro what's up."

And just as I thought the interview debacle was over, Randy pulled another d*&^ move. "Ya, tell your bro WE said what's up!"

They both then turned their backs to me and began mumbling to each other, probably about who gets to massage Tom's "sore shoulder" on the plane ride home.

As I exited the locker room, dejected and p%$##@ off, I couldn't help but think how big of a*&^%$# those guys were. I know the facts, I was a zilch in their locker room, but I also know that not one player on the Redskins would treat someone like that. Not one.

Tanner then goes on to wish the Patriots visions of David Tyree on their plan ride home.

So, how does brother Chris put out the fire? With tongue firmly planted in cheek.

I also want to dispute the notion that Tanner strode into the Patriots locker room looking for negative publicity. My brother's initial intentions were to see if he could ask Tom Brady one question, not to bad mouth Randy Moss. Obviously, he knew this was unlikely to happen, but was thrilled with the chance. I will also apologize for him for not knowing the Patriots have a strict no interviews policy in their locker room; surely everyone in America should know everything about the gods of football and should be treated like a d-bag for not accommodating. Seriously, all teams should adopt this silence philosophy. It makes for an extremely fan friendly environment.

There’s some merit to that. Of course, you could argue going 2-6 over your last eight games last season wasn’t exactly fan-friendly either.

Hat tip: Barstool Sports.

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