Foreign departure

For the sake of arguing that this exercise is completely useless, my three teams came out to be the Arizona Cardinals, San Francisco 49ers, and Atlanta Falcons. Congratulations, you've chosen three teams that might normally get blacked out in their own TV markets, never mind overseas.

Let's give credit to Roger Goodell, because, well, there's a first for everything. The NFL does a cute job of marketing itself to London football fans, some of whom decry the game is too violent, a hoot for a country known for soccer hooligans. But now we're talking about two regular season games at Wembley and maybe the Super Bowl? The most American sports day on the calendar will be played in London, England? It's an idiotic idea at best. The first Super Bowl party I go to that has bangers and mash on the menu in lieu of Buffalo wings isn't going to be a pretty sight.

There's even talk of London getting its own franchise, despite the fact that more people probably know about the Patriots in Nicaragua thanks to those 19-0 shirts that are so popular there with the locals. Hey, Roger, not that we want to tell you how to run your business (or get fined for doing so), but shouldn't we simply focus on this side of the pond for the time being? Los Angeles doesn't even have a team and you want to put one in London? Sure it's a better location than Jacksonville, but that's not the point.

Despite having to endure the Bucs (and the putrid Miami Dolphins two seasons ago), London has been made sure to receive some of the NFL's brightest on their annual day in the fog. They got a preview of the Super Bowl-winning Giants two years ago, superstar QB's Drew Brees and Tom Brady over the next two years. That's some premier catering. Wait until they get their own expansion franchise though, and suffer through a 1-15 debut season. Wait until they suffer some of the other downsides to the NFL, like sophomoric light beer commercials, holier than thou post-game analysis, the Broncos' uniforms, or the fact that you bench Vernon Davis because you decide to listen to some fantasy football goober who tells you that the Texans are a bad matchup for the 49ers tight end. Wait until they meet Eric Mangini. (Speaking of, has David Chase put in a call to Lucas yet to see if they can digitally remove that "Mangenius" scene?)

As for yesterday, the Telegraph's Brendan Gallagher called the turnout and enthusiasm over the Patriots-Bucs game, "a hugely impressive migratory phenomenon, yet seemingly without explanation." That about sums it up.

Gallagher continues:

A bit like the sardine run, off Durban, or the wildebeest coming together in their millions in the Serengeti. Baffling. Perhaps deep down we are just a gridiron nation in deep denial or perhaps it is the American Dream that sends 84,254 of us scurrying for Wembley like sleepwalkers to the fridge.

Sunday was, as much as anything, a celebration of Americana and the reaffirmation of an enduring if no longer 'special’ relationship. Wall-to-wall Bruce Springsteen, pink Cadillacs, stretch limos and hot dogs -- easy on the mayo, double chilli, raw onion, I said easy on the mayo! Bright Floridian sunshine for the pre-match party, lissome cheerleaders, screaming stadium announcers and of course the 'stash,' the gear. Ultimately, all American sport comes down to the stash.

Walking down Wembley Way pre-match, Patriot shirts definitely held sway, with Tom Brady’s No 12 a clear market leader, but I also counted team tops for 19 other NFL franchises before deciding such an exercise was borderline trainspotter and, frankly, a bit sad.

My wife made the point before that game that it was a wee bit insulting to sing the National Anthem complete with color guard on London soil. As an American, I was more embarrassed over the fact that Jim Nantz was tabbed for pregame public address duties.

Not as embarrassed as the league would be though to force the British to watch what would be in store for them should they indeed get their own expansion franchise. For a few years, you too can be like the Rams, about as inept an era for a team as most of us have ever seen, including the Victor Kiam years.

You want the NFL so badly after seeing teams like that play, just hang onto them. Nobody will miss the Browns anyway. We'll consider it payback for sticking us with Coldplay all these years.