Top 5 reasons why Super Bowl week sucks:
1. A Sunday without football. The Pro Bowl does not count.
2. Media Day. The worst.
3. Athletes on Radio Row who actually think you care about them pushing Mylanta during an interview.
4. The inevitable “Why your city is terrible” column from a visiting media member. Unless it’s Houston. Because Houston is terrible.
5. That person who says, “I can’t wait to see the commercials.”
Top 5 reasons to be excited about the Bruins:
1. Doug Hamilton. He’s a big boy now. No “ie.”
2. The new NESN studio. Wheee.
3. Nathan Horton is healthy, which can only mean big things in a contract year.
4. Tyler Seguin doesn’t have to do his own laundry.
5. The “cartoon character” Jack Edwards. Copyright, Gerry Callahan.
Top 5 most bizarre sports stories of 2013.
1. Mantei Te’o. Duh.
2. Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods. Huh?
3. The revelation that John Henry invited Terry Francona to throw out the first pitch last year after he was fired. Wuh?
4. Ray Lewis as media God. Uh.
5. The CBS Sports Minute. While not bizarre, and not necessarily 2013, it’s awful.
Top 5 most important Patriot free agents – in order.
1. Aqib Talib. Franchise tag is the best option, if only so you don’t go long-term with uncertainty of off-field issues.
2. Wes Welker. A goner. He may yet stick it in Bill’s face down the road.
3. Sebastian Vollmer. Injuries and subpar play may lead Patriots to look elsewhere.
4. Julian Edelman. Wes lite.
5. Danny Woodhead. Size matters not.
Top 5 reasons to be excited about the Red Sox:
1. They fired Bobby Valentine.
2. They fired Bobby Valentine.
3. They fired Bobby Valentine.
4. They fired Bobby Valentine.
5. They fired Bobby Valentine.
No, really, here are 5:
1. Jon Lester reuniting with John Farrell can only have a positive effect on the ace of the staff.
2. They fired Bobby Valentine.
3. Pedro Martinez is back with the organization in a position that kind of, sort of exists, but hey, it made you stop talking about that book for a day, right?
4. John Lackey’s breath should adequately heat Fenway through the chilly month of April.
5. It’s not 2012 anymore.
Top 5 favorite locally-produced TV shows.
2. Quick Slants
3. Phantom Gourmet
4. The Mountain Report
5. Greater Boston
Top 5 Buffalo wing destinations in New England.
1. Delaney’s, North Conway, N.H.
2. Carbur’s, Burlington, Vt. (RIP)
3. Buff’s Pub, Newton
4. Your couch. Grill ‘em up.
5. Wendell’s Pub, Norton. Wings could be meatier, but the sauce can’t be denied.
Top 5 ways to improve Fenway Park.
1. Adopt the airline method of having larger people purchase two seats.
2. Replace “Sweet Caroline” with this:
3. Carmine as public address announcer.
4. Brick petting zoo.
5. One word: Seaport.
Top 5 reasons why losing Rondo is no big deal for the Celtics:
2. They were 21st in scoring anyway, so, what’s the difference?
3. Confidence in Avery Bradley.
4. Doc Rivers can save money on Tums.
5. It’s the old guys’ team again.
Top 5 annual sports calendar days:
1. Opening Day, baseball.
2. Thursday, noon, NCAA basketball tournament
3. Black Friday Bruins matinee
4. Super Bowl Sunday
5. The day Larry Lucchino’s pandering “varsity” letter goes out.
Top 5 possible Super Bowl scores: