It's a tough job, and she does it

We now know who has the toughest job around.

Kim Etheredge.

She's the publicist for Terrell Owens, and if you want the definition of impossible, it is ``publicist for Terrell Owens."

The person who used to have to shine all of Imelda Marcos's shoes weekly?

The person who has to keep George Hamilton supplied with tanning oil?

The person who has to apply, and remove, Gene Simmons's makeup?

You thought they all had impossible jobs. They were nothing compared to what Etheredge has to do. She has to make sense of a guy who makes no sense. She has to come up with explanations for a guy for whom there is no excuse. She has to not only collect tickets for the circus, she has to tame the lions and swing on the trapeze, too.

On one side, she works for Owens and must also answer to agent Drew Rosenhaus. On the other side, she's got Bill Parcells. Then there are questions from 4,371 members of the media who don't realize that in the Dallas Cowboys with Parcells and Owens and Jerry Jones they are covering nothing more than the sports equivalent to ``As the World Turns."

A publicist, for Owens? An impossible job, but to make matters worse, it appears Etheredge isn't very good at it. That is why, if she's looking for a career change, yet desires to remain in sports, I have another challenge for her.

How about motivational coach for Manny Ramírez?

New England at Cincinnati (-6) -- Charo will join Jim Nantz and Phil Simms in the CBS booth to offer expert analysis on body language. Pick: Patriots.

Indianapolis (-9) at NY Jets -- The Colts' Dwight Freeney reportedly has a buttocks injury. Sort of makes things even, because defending against Freeney will be a buttocks injury for the Jets. Pick: Jets.

Arizona at Atlanta (-7) -- Edgerrin James is feeling the frustration. Dynamic with the Colts, the big-money free agent is averaging just 3.4 yards per carry with the Cardinals and has yet to go for 100 in a game. ``It's crazy. It's ridiculous," he said. No, Edgerrin, it's Arizona. Or didn't your agent tell you that part of it? Pick: Falcons.

Cleveland (-3) at Oakland -- I don't want to say this game has very little interest, but the NFL Network has refused to pick it up. Instead, it has been dished to Versus. Pick: Raiders.

Seattle at Chicago (-3) -- On second look, Shaun Alexander has a broken bone in his foot. The fourth metatarsal, to be exact. Apparently, the fourth metatarsal comes with large fries, a 36-ounce soft drink, an ice cream sundae, and a little toy, because Mike Holmgren said, ``This is a big deal. This is not a little deal." The second and third metatarsals presumably come with small fries, small drink, but no sundae, and no toy. Pick: Bears.

New Orleans at Carolina (-7) -- Tackle Todd Fordham is questionable for the Panthers. But on a bright note, cornerback Richard Marshall, tackle Rashad Butler, and defensive tackle Kindal Moorehead are healthy, so there'll be enough collegiate representation. Pick: Panthers.

Minnesota at Buffalo (-1) -- Drew Henson has signed with Minnesota. Whether he'll play for the Twins or the Vikings has yet to be determined. Pick: Vikings.

Detroit at St. Louis (-5 1/2) -- In an effort to enhance family time, I included the wife and kids in my thought process on this game, as we had dinner. I explained that I liked the Rams, and crunched some numbers regarding run defense, pass defense, quarterback ratings, and red-zone efficiency. I asked them, ``Should I give the points?" My kids said, ``Could you give us some ice cream first?" And my wife? She said, ``You give whatever you think is right," and out she went to the mall. So, if I'm wrong on this one, blame them for their lack of help. Pick: Rams.

Dallas (-9) at Tennessee -- Will Vince Young play? ``If you want to see if Vince is going to play, you're going to have to watch," said Titans coach Jeff Fisher, who apparently is trying to line up the marketing director's job at NFL Network now that he's got yet another lemon of a team on his hands. Pick: Titans.

Miami (-3 1/2) at Houston -- When his team beat the lowly Titans last week, Miami coach Nick Saban said, ``This was a great win for our players." Imagine his reaction if they beat the hapless Texans. ``We're going to Disney World," he'll say. Pick: Dolphins.

San Diego (-2 1/2) at Baltimore -- This could be a preview of the AFC Championship game. It definitely won't be a preview of the NFC Championship game. Pick: Ravens.

San Francisco at Kansas City (-7) -- ``The Chiefs," I told my friend, ``and you can take it to the bank." He told me he hasn't gone to the bank in years, that he does it online. Pick: Chiefs.

Jacksonville (-3) at Washington -- Byron Leftwich grew up in the D.C. area and has ordered 100 tickets for friends and family. If they have fun, they'll probably ask for tickets to the Redskins' game against Dallas in a few weeks, too. Pick: Jaguars.

Green Bay at Philadelphia (-11) -- We're still researching it, but that 98-yard fumble return for a touchdown by 292-pound Mike Patterson last week is believed to have established a record for most yards (2.98) per pound.

Last week: 3-9-2.

Season: 20-23-2.