Where not to watch...
A roster of ways to pass the day if you're taking a timeout from football
Halftime: ArtsBoston, the discount entertainment organization, is going to make it easy for those who opt for culture over quarterbacks. The group is offering a special half-price ticket deal for a variety of performances on Sunday. You can buy tickets in advance or, in a departure from usual practices, on Sunday. BosTix booths are in Copley Square and at Faneuil Hall Marketplace. For more information, go to artsboston.org or call 617-262-8632.
Blood sport: If you prefer your brutality served without a helmet, way off the gridiron, with wit and a carafe of sake, there's ``Kill Bill Vol. 1,'' playing all day at the Brattle Theatre. It's the Super Bowl of carnage.
First string: Hemenway Strings, a student string orchestra from the Boston Conservatory that is coached by violinist Lynn Chang but plays without a conductor, performs music by Vivaldi, Mozart, Elgar, and Osvaldo Golijov in a free concert ending the conservatory'srr ``Winterfest'' series in the Benjamin Franklin Institute of Technology at 7.
Another big game: Movie-geek shut-ins would much rather watch a football movie than an actual game. The bittersweet 1986 comedy ``The Best of Times'' is not only one of the better ones, it's a criminally underrated Capra-esque charmer. Robin Williams is cast as a dyspeptic nerd who lost the big game in high school and who will die of self-loathing if he doesn't replay the game in middle age. Kurt Russell is the former quarterback star turned cynical loser he enlists. If the last shot doesn't choke you up, you really need to lay off the steroids.
No nachos: Go out for a nice dinner in a quiet restaurant with no TV. Drink a good bottle of wine to enhance your feelings of superiority. Remember to smile with fake compassion at the cranky waiter who would rather be home watching the game.
The ultimate replay: To mark the real holiday this weekend, rent ``Groundhog Day,'' the charming comedy in which Bill Murray relives one day of his life over and over and over until he gets it right. On Monday, the actual Groundhog Day, watch it again.
A score of your own: Play some sweet music and attend the hammered
dulcimer workshop at Club Passim in Cambridge from 1 to 3 p.m. David Neiman offers instruction, and several dulcimers will be available to play.
Call for a revue: Even if Jacques Brel were alive, he wouldn't have cared about the Super Bowl. (He only cared about football played with the funny round ball.) If you don't care either, the fine revival of ``Jacques Brel Is Alive and Well and Living in Paris'' sings out at the Stuart Street Playhouse/2nd Stage Cabaret, 3 and 7 p.m.
Tune out, 'toon in: Turn Super Bowl Sunday into the Saturday mornings of your youth. Rent (or buy) the Looney Tunes Golden Collection on DVD, which offers 56 classic Warner Bros. cartoons featuring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, and Porky Pig, among others. Patriots vs. Panthers ain't got nothing on Duck Season vs. Rabbit Season.
Gang tackle: Do you hate sports? Devote your Super Bowl time to reading the prodigious list of essays on the wonderful, sports-hating website home.t-online.de/home/parkerr/links.htm. There are essays on a variety of important topics, including ``Sports Are Stupid,'' plus a valuable set of links to Web destinations that include a list of professional athletes who have been arrested and a sports-hating site entirely in French.
Think DJ, not QB: If you skip the game, then you can't go to work on Monday, because you'll be a social pariah. So stay up into the wee hours picking through your CD collection, listening to all the albums you bought but forgot. No Nelly, Janet Jackson, Kid Rock, or P. Diddy allowed; they're strictly for halftimers.
Screen play: You're 0 for 2 - you're not in Houston and you didn't make it to the Sundance Film Festival. For $10 you can check out 40 offbeat short, animated, and experimental films at the Sundance Online Film Festival. The titles alone are enticing: ``Pol Pot's Birthday,'' ``LSD A Go Go,'' and ``Silent Movie for Deaf People'' are just three. Learn more at www.sundanceonlinefilmfestival.org.