It's a year he'll never forget

MINNEAPOLIS -- Do you remember what you were doing a year ago?

Tedy Bruschi does -- with clarity. Did you think he had forgotten? Did you think he had filed all those memories away, like snapshots in a scrapbook?

Yes, being a football player requires a mind-set that puts the past where it belongs: behind you. Devastating injuries must be conquered, then forgotten.

But what happened to Bruschi was not an injury. It was a stroke, a life-altering experience that shook him to his very core. The man who has anchored the New England linebacking corps this season -- recording 36 tackles, picking off 1 ball, and recovering 2 fumbles -- had no peripheral vision after his Feb. 15, 2004, stroke. He could not walk. His speech was impaired.

His life was impaired -- possibly for good.

Bruschi was frightened, angry, confused. He had taken impeccable care of his body. He was a team player and a team leader. He had a beautiful wife and three gorgeous young sons, and had been to his first Pro Bowl just days before he was stricken. Why him? Why?

You know his story. Bruschi defied skeptics and critics by painstakingly rehabilitating himself. While speculation ran rampant that he had played his last football game, he met with one, then two, then 10 doctors, and not one could come up with a concrete reason why he should not play again.

So, on Oct. 30, 2005 -- one year ago yesterday -- he strapped on his helmet and returned to the field against Buffalo. He played mostly on adrenaline, and, as the sports world watched and held its collective breath, he recorded 10 tackles to earn AFC Defensive Player of the Week honors. New England won the game, 21-16, and just like that, Tedy was back.

He would play the rest of the season without incident, except for a calf injury that knocked him out of the regular-season finale against the Dolphions; he dressed but was unable to play against Jacksonville in the first round of the playoffs.

His remarkable recovery soon faded from the headlines. The football world moved on from "Linebacker Returns From Stroke!" but you must understand why No. 54 never quite will move on himself.

"I haven't forgotten," he said last week. "I think about it every single day."

Where does an experience like that leave you? How does it make you feel when you look back?

" 'Blessed' would be a good word," he said. " 'Grateful' is another. And throw in 'thankful' and 'fortunate,' too. I truly am glad for every single day I have."

The stroke has changed him. He has certain responsibilities now. He decided to become a spokesman for stroke awareness. He has done public service announcements warning people not to do what he did -- ignore the symptoms of an oncoming stroke -- because it could kill you.

It could have killed Tedy Bruschi. And he never will shake that.

"I realize the magnitude of what I went through when I hear from people who have had a stroke, or had friends or relatives who had a stroke," he said. "When I hear how it affected them, then it really brings it home.

"What really gets me is when my doctors tell me of calls they've gotten from people who heard me talking about my stroke, or about stroke prevention, and because of what I've said, it convinced them to go in and see their doctors.

"When I hear someone say, 'Tedy Bruschi saved my life,' then I know this whole thing is much bigger than my own personal experience."

His resurgence is a bona fide feel-good sports story, but there's something else Bruschi hasn't forgotten: the number of pundits and so-called experts who vilified him for returning to the field. Some expressed concern for his health, others questioned his wisdom, and still others went further, claiming he was selfish, exhibiting a complete disregard for his family.

The accusations hurt and angered him. His family was everything to him. How dare they question his motives?

"I remember the names," he said, with an unmistakable flash of anger. "I remember what they said. Am I able to look at them in the eye now, when they come to my locker and ask me questions? Yes, I am able to, because I'm a professional.

"But I have not forgotten what they said. I will never forget what they said."

As the Patriots prepared for the Minnesota Vikings last week, they were reminded that Bruschi's one-year anniversary of his return to the game was approaching. Rosevelt Colvin, who suffered a gruesome dislocated hip that nearly derailed his career and kept him out of the game for nearly a full season, said, "That's funny. No one ever talks about that in here anymore.

"When something that dramatic happens to you, you get over it, but it never goes away. You have no choice but to sit down and take a good hard look at the rest of your life, because football might be over."

Upon his return in 2004, Colvin insisted he was the same as before his injury. Yet now, nearly two years later, he concedes that wasn't exactly the case.

"The first year back is an adjustment," he said. "You're trying too hard to get back into the game, to be back where you were before anything happened, but that takes time.

"Same with Tedy. He played really well for us last season. But you look at him this year, and he just looks more comfortable. Tedy is Tedy again. And that's great news for us."

Linebacker Don Davis counts Bruschi among his most trusted teammates. He prayed for Bruschi when he was stricken, and continued to pray for him once he returned to the field.

"A year? Has it really been that long?" said Davis. "The fact that he has recovered in such a short time is a true testament to Tedy. I have to be honest. I didn't know if he'd come back from [the stroke] at all."

Davis said he remembers exactly how he felt one year ago, when Bruschi put on his uniform and joined the defense in the huddle.

"I was very apprehensive," Davis said. "I never told him that at the time. I just supported him, told him I was pulling for him.

"But, halfway through the season, after he had been back a few weeks, I told him, 'Hey buddy, I had my doubts.' He knew. I'm sure he could see it in our eyes.

"But he really wanted to test it out. If you ask me, he started out taking way too many reps, but he made it through, thank God.

"And now look at him."

Last night, Tedy Bruschi assumed his customary spot in the starting lineup for the 31-7 win over the Vikings. He is recovering from surgery on his wrist, which is still swollen and sore.

"But that's nothing," he said. "Nothing at all."

Jackie MacMullan's e-mail address is macmullan@globe.com.