Pro picks

He's hoping a call might go his way

BRIAN BILLICKNot right fit for Jets

By Jim McBride

Globe Staff / January 9, 2009

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A watched kettle never boils, and, I'm finding out, a watched phone never rings.

While trying to crank out this week's pro picks, I'm admittedly distracted. "Why haven't they called?" is the question that keeps ringing in my head. "Why haven't they called?"

Clearly, I should be focusing on the task at hand, but I just can't seem to concentrate on anything until I get the call. The call everybody's getting. Sure, it's childish to want something just because everyone else is getting it. But this isn't an iPod, a North Face jacket, or a pair of UGG boots. This is much bigger than those hotter-than-hot items. This is the call.

Call from whom, you ask? A call from the Jets, of course. Everybody's being summoned to Gotham to interview for the head coaching vacancy with the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets. When is my call coming? I was in line at Dunkin's yesterday and I had to wait an extra five minutes for my coffee because the assistant manager was on the phone setting up his sitdown with club officials.

I don't need a call from Woody Johnson. I don't need a call from Mike Tannenbaum. I'd be happy even if one of the team's 435 "quality control" guys rang me up.

The list of candidates is pretty impressive. But through exhaustive research, I've been able to find a flaw in all of them. To wit:

Steve Spagnuolo (can Jets fans really embrace a Giants assistant who was born in Massachusetts?); Josh McDaniels (I'm sure Jet Nation would just love to see another Patriots coordinator come to town); Steve Mariucci (he's too pretty, and let's face it, the NFL Network needs at least one analyst who can make salient points).

There's Rex Ryan (he's too scary); Jim Schwartz (he's too unknown); Jim Fassel (he's too out of touch); Russ Grimm (he's too grim); Brian Billick (he's too Billicky); Jeff Jagodzinski (he'll never stay); Bill Callahan (he's 0 for 2 in head coaching gigs); Ron Meeks (he runs the Colts' defense).

There's also Marty Schottenheimer (his son would be sooo mad!) and Brian Schottenheimer (his dad would be sooo mad!).

It seems the only logical thing to do is go outside the established football community to get a fresh perspective. After all, this franchise's track record is pretty pathetic. There have been 16 Jet head coaches and two (Bill Parcells and Al Groh) have winning records.

Eleven of the Jets' first 12 coaches had sub-.500 winning percentages. The other, the late, great "Slingin' Sammy" Baugh, was 14-14. The Jets even had a coach named Charley Winner. But he wasn't a winner. The poor guy went 9-14 before being let go midway through the 1975 season.

The trifecta before the Tuna arrived (Bruce Coslet, Pete Carroll, and Rich Kotite) was a combined 36-77, lowlighted by Kotite's 4-28 from 1995-96.

Unless Gang Green's front office can convince Parcells to come back to New York (again), it's time to take drastic measures. I'll be waiting by the phone.

The picks

Baltimore at Tennessee (-3) - I can't tell you how impressed I've been with Kerry Collins this season. Collins hasn't played this well since the 2000 season, when he led the Giants to the Super Bowl.

Unfortunately for Collins, his season is going to end the same way it did that year - with a loss to the Ravens and their dominating defense.

The Titans' best strategy tomorrow might be to forgo the passing game because Ed Reed will get you sooner or later. Feed the ball to Chris Johnson and LenDale White. Let this duo try to wear down the high-energy, high-impact Ravens. Then maybe Collins can hit a few passes in the fourth quarter.

I think it'll be too late by then. Pick: Ravens.

Arizona at Carolina (-10) - It's really hard not to like Jake Delhomme.

Carolina's quarterback plays with passion and toughness. His second-half performance against the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVIII is often forgotten because he was one-upped by Tom Brady. This might be Delhomme's best chance to get back to the Big Game, and the march starts tomorrow.

Also, Kurt Warner doesn't like playing outside. Pick: Panthers.

Philadelphia at NY Giants (-4) - There's no love - or secrets - lost between these fierce NFC East rivals, and that's why this could be the best game of the weekend.

The Giants stumbled to the finish, losing three of their last four. It's reminiscent of the way the Colts lost three of their last five in 2006, only to catch fire in the playoffs en route to winning the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning led that postseason run. Now it's Eli's turn.

Plus, Brian Westbrook looked old and slow against the Vikings. Pick: Giants.

San Diego at Pittsburgh (-6) - No LT? No chance. Yes, Darren Sproles was exceptional last Saturday, but that was against the Colts. The Steelers' defense is a different animal.

Pittsburgh will pulverize the little guy, who isn't used to carrying the load for long stretches. James Harrison and James Farrior are relentless beasts and they'll find Sproles (or anyone else with the ball) and make him pay.

Additionally, Norv Turner is still the Chargers' coach. Pick: Steelers.

Last week: 3-1.

Season: 123-130-7.