No fooling, early news is unbelievable
Tomorrow will be an overwhelming day in the world of golf, the news coming fast and furious. We could just wait and let you read about it after it's been officially announced, but why not bring you tomorrow's golf news today:
The United States Golf Association officially sets new guidelines. No hole under 650 yards can be labeled a par 5, and par 3s have to measure at least 235 yards. Holes 234 yards or less now will be par 2s.
Asked if they ever would consider playing lift, clean, and place in the British Open to give players a chance to wipe mud off their golf balls, a Royal & Ancient spokesman said, "What's mud?"
As a way of utilizing the 243,587 bunkers at Whistling Straits in Haven, Wis., club owner Herb Kohler, architect Pete Dye, and PGA of America officials unveil plans that will allow patrons to rent space for family beach parties during the 2010 PGA Championship. Depending on which bunker you rent, you can have "four to 12 in your party," said a championship official. "If a player hits a ball into your bunker, he can either take a free drop or accept a cheeseburger from the patrons."
Geraldo Rivera will hold a news conference to reveal that one of the items he recovered in Al Capone's vault was a 1968 Masters scorecard that proves without a shadow of a doubt that Roberto Di Vicenzo signed correctly.
Chuckie Twoputt, a 7-year-old from Grand Forks, N.D., drove the green at two par 4s, made four birdies, shot 79, and won his annual family spring outing at an executive course near his house. Sadly, Twoputt's amateur status was taken away after he accepted free ice cream and cake. No matter, because the kid said he had intended to turn pro, anyway -- he's got his eyes set on the 2018 Ryder Cup.
By the way, Twoputt's victory vaulted him to No. 13,672 in the world rankings.
Saying they are sorry to hear some golf writers got mud on their sneakers and rain on their sweaters during the West Coast swing, PGA Tour officials confirmed their intentions to overhaul the 2006 schedule. The first two events will remain in Hawaii, but then the Tour will shift to Aruba for three weeks, Costa Rica for two, and the Dominican Republic for one before heading to Southern California and Florida. "I know the courses aren't up to par and no one will be in the gallery," said a PGA Tour official of the Caribbean stops, "but the weather will be great and the writers should be able to keep their sneakers dry."
Having been denied membership, Donald Trump vows to buy Augusta National and make a few small changes, most notably in the color of the jacket that goes to the winner. He said it will be canary yellow.
Carlos Franco promises to practice more. He said he would hit two sleeves of balls, not one, before each round.
PGA Tour officials seek out players for input into how long the season should be. Fred Couples suggests five weeks, unless his back is up to it, then he'd make it six. Rhode Islander Patrick Sheehan suggests 51 events, skipping Christmas week, of course. As for how their workload could be made easier, 63 percent of the PGA Tour members suggested travel considerations -- like moving the British Open to Orlando to cut down on those long plane rides that give them backaches.
John Daly promised to play something other than "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" when he joins Hootie and the Blowfish.
Johnny Miller for the first time will concede he once saw a player face what wasn't "an easy putt that was makeable." It was early in his broadcasting career and the player had a 73-foot putt over two dead elephants with 4 feet of break left, 7 feet of break right, then a downhill roll for the last 30 feet or so to a hole that was cut on a sidehill lie. "Darned if he didn't come close to making it," said Miller. "After that, I reasoned if he could nearly make that, then every putt had to be easy."
To level the playing field, the LPGA Tour will assign a handicap system to combat the incomparable Annika Sorenstam. In one of the first two rounds, she must accept the score shot by sister Charlotta, to be decided by a blind draw after Round 2.
The PGA Tour denies that a new rule is aimed at Sergio Garcia, whose father always walks around the course with a golf club in hand, but in 2006 that practice could lead to a penalty. The new rule will mandate that clubs being held by family members, either inside or outside the ropes, will go toward the player's count. So if Sergio has 14 clubs in his bag and Victor is clutching that utility club or putter or mid-iron he always has, then the young Spaniard will be hit with a two-shot penalty for having too many clubs. "It is an outrage," said Sergio, but PGA Tour officials disagreed. "We can't have every family member bringing in their favorite 460 cc driver or three-ball putter," said a spokesman for the PGA Tour. "It's a safety issue for patrons."
There you have it. The golf news for tomorrow, April 1.
