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Staff predictions

April 11, 2012
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FLUTO SHINZAWA

Bruins vs. Capitals: Boston in seven. Russian machine finally breaks.

Eastern Conference winner: New York. John Tortorella moons Penguins in series-clinching win.

Western Conference winner: Nashville. Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood celebrate by releasing top-40 single.

Stanley Cup winner: New York. Traffic from Cup parade causes Manhattan-wide road rage.

KEVIN PAUL DUPONT

Bruins vs. Capitals: Boston in six. Bruins clinch in D.C., Obama in stands to cheer Little Ball of Hate.

Eastern Conference winner: Pittsburgh. Crosby gives everyone else headaches.

Western Conference winner: Nashville. Too many Kostitsyns on the ice.

Stanley Cup winner: Pittsburgh. Matt Cooke leads team in postgame prayer service, preaching peace, love, and understanding.

JIM HOBAN

Bruins vs. Capitals: Washington in seven.Remember unheralded rookie goaltender Steve Penney and the Canadiens sweeping the heavily favored Bruins in 1984?

Eastern Conference winner: Pittsburgh. Crosby and Malkin give Tortorella more to cry about.

Western Conference winner: St. Louis. David Backes is the best player you’ve never heard of.

Stanley Cup winner: St. Louis. Blues play a little like the gang that won it last season, don’t they?

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