Kerry's Top 10 Sox messages during tonight's debate
It's as inevitable as death and taxes. You just know John Kerry is going to slip in some mention of the Red Sox during tonight's presidential debate against President Bush. If you were his advisor, what are the top 10 messages you'd give him to send to Red Sox Nation (We're guessing "call Bush my daddy" is out of the question). Hey, anything's better than "Manny Ortez."
Some advice to John Kerry: 10) at the end of the debate, demand that "Dirty Water" blares on the stereos, followed by "Tessie" 9) when the candidates first walk on stage, borrow some of Orlando Cabrera's moves and work out a custom handshake with Bush 8) sport Bronson Arroyo-style cornrows 7) wear a "Why Not Us? Kerry-Edwards 2004" tee shirt under the suit jacket 6) say "David McCarty is the flip-flopper here; one day, he's playing first base, next thing you know he's pitching, then he's in as a pinch-hitter!" 5) point and smile at supporters after saying something particularly important 4) grow facial hair 3) before a commercial break, start a "Sweet Caroline" sing-along 2) say "I'll be as tough on terrorism as Keith Foulke is in the ninth inning" 1) join in on the self-depricating goofiness and proclaim to be an idiot too
Jenny, Newton, MA
Kerry should say: "Even though the Red Sox are behind in their series with the Yankees, I know they will come and win. Because I have a plan."
Tom, Syracuse, NY
Senator Kerry should assert that he wouldn't run America the way Francona manages the Sox. What happened in the bottom of the 8th was ridiculous/absurd and inexcusable. I would also like to him to point out that the President is about as honest as Manny is a good fielder.
John Paul, Chapel Hill
BUSH IS LIKE THE YANKS SO I'LL LOSE THE SAME AS THEY WILL. GOD BLESS AMERICA
ed, spring lake heights nj
Kerry should attempt to start a chant..."George Bush Sucks, George Bush Sucks!"
Just as Pedro, on this night, is counting on the strength, support, and wisdom of a dominican midget, I know I can count on the strength, support, and wisdom of the American people on November 2nd.
I think this sounds more like Kerry, "Schilling misled us, the reason he gave us to be #1 were lies, if I were leader of the Red Sox Nation I would tell them the truth."
You know, this race reminds me of another contest getting attention these days - the underdog from Boston fighting to bring down the Evil Empire
He'll say he's now a Yankee fan. After all, it's not only a part of his image to flip-flop, it's really him.
John , West Springfield
I am as reliable as Kim, as healthy as Burkes and as wise as Manny Ortiz. My voting record is as straight and narrow as a good Wakefield knuckler and my past is as clean as Trot Nixon's hat. My judgment is as good as Sveum's and I know Damon ment to include me as one of the idiots. As sure as I am a true Red Sox fan, David McCarty will pitch a no hitter in game three. Thank you, and may God bless Red Socks, err, Sox Nation.