No ball for Foulke

If anyone finds Keith Foulke’s shoes, can you make sure the man gets them immediately?

Just when you thought you could sleep at night now that the World Series ball mess is finally settled, the former Boston closer, who tossed said ball over to Doug Mientkiewicz for the final out of the 2004 World Series, said yesterday that he should have the ball.

“It's not on my mantel where it should be," Foulke told the Hartford Courant.

OK, who else wants it? Manny? He was the MVP, he should get some time with it. Tell you what, the Hall of Fame should wrap the thing in a blanket and let all the Red Sox coddle it like those eggs in high school sex education classes.

"As far as I know, I've never heard of a team wanting the ball so badly," Foulke said. "It's one of those deals where I got the last out. I think that's kind of the common practice in baseball [to give the ball to the pitcher on the mound]."

Foulke told the Courant’s David Heuschkel that he asked Mientkiewicz for the ball during the offseason following the World Series win, but was denied. Oh, and that other stuff that ended up in the Hall after the Red Sox won? Foulke wants that back, too.

"Speaking of the Hall of Fame, do you know where my shoes are?" Foulke asked. "I'm still looking to get back our stuff that went in after last year. We've got to find it. They said they're only keeping it for a year. I would imagine the White Sox got their display in there now. I want my stuff back."

Now we should know how Indiana Jones felt. “It belongs in a museum.”

Mientkiewicz, for his part, is happy just to get out from the weight of the entire ridiculous controversy.

"As important as that ball was, it was not worth what my family had to go through," said Mientkiewicz. "The worst for me was being sandwiched on the CNN ticker between the tsunami victims and the Laci Peterson murder trial. I thought that was kind of ridiculous, over a baseball."

Couldn't agree more. Yet here we are, still talking about it. I guarantee this thing goes missing from Cooperstown within the next year and we’re provided daily updates on the ensuing manhunt.