If it were any number of other major leaguers, the answer may have come out: "BALCO."
Instead, when faced with the daunting task of defining, "The San Francisco treat" on Celebrity Jeopardy, Curt Schilling froze. Somewhere, Ken Jennings was snickering. Heck, somewhere Cliff Claven ("Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?") was deriding Schilling's stumble.
Schilling took it in stride, even telling CBS4's Dan Roche, "I know for a fact going into Yankee stadium in 2007 is going to be a nightmare for me." Maybe instead of batteries, New Yorkers will take a page out of wedding tradition and toss Rice-A-Roni at the Red Sox ace.
Itís not like Celebrity Jeopardy pits the great minds of the world against each other. It raises money for a good cause, and who has a problem with that? Schilling's appearance raised $25,000 for charities, Curt's Pitch for ALS and the SHADE Foundation, and probably a fair amount of complimentary cartons of long grain pilaf on his doorstep. But Jeopardy producers do their best not to embarrass the celebs at the same time, and last nightís show, which had Schilling up against Desperate Houswives' Doug Savant and Malcolm in the Middle's Jane Kaczmarek, was no different.
Categories ranged from "Shilling" to "Malcolm X in the Middle." As far as layups go, it wasn't quite Claven's gift of "Beer, Bar Trivia, Stamps From Around the World, and Bar Trivia" on the classic "Cheers" episode, but Jeopardy did its best to make its guests look good in front of the camera.
And then, Schilling didn't know "What is Rice-A-Roni." Perhaps if the categories had instead included "Tender tendons and late-night chat rooms" he would have cleaned up.
Still, it was fun to watch Schilling on another big stage. In fact, his appearance makes us want to see more familiar faces on the popular game show.
Imagine some of the categories that Jeopardy could come up with for:
Bill Belichick: Things Being What They're Being
Keith Foulke: Fast Food Nation, Hemis, and Canadian Pastimes
Jeremy Jacobs: US Currency Profiles
Tim McCarver: Talkies, Hair for Men
Manny Ramirez: Boys Who Cried Wolf
Johnny Damon: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Wily Mo Pena: E Stands for ...
Ty Law: Food Stamps
Bode Miller: The Many Uses of Beer
Alex Rodriguez: The Heimlich Maneuver