Kwan's quest ends

TURIN -- By midnight, the pain in her right hip was much worse than it had been Saturday morning, after she'd fallen on a jump during her first Olympic practice. Bad enough that Michelle Kwan knew she probably wouldn't be ready for the women's competition a week from tomorrow.

''I had to make a decision," America's most bemedaled figure skater said yesterday morning. ''I love and respect the sport. It's all about the US bringing the best team to the Olympic Games. I wouldn't want to be in the way of that."

So, true to her promise that she wouldn't compete if she weren't fully fit, Kwan pulled out of the Games with a severe adductor muscle strain, ending her dream of collecting the one prize that has eluded her during a storied 14-year career -- an Olympic gold medal.

''Taking myself off the team is the most difficult decision I've ever had to make, but it's the right decision," the 25-year-old Kwan said, after she had given up her spot to 17-year-old Emily Hughes, whose older sister Sarah won the gold medal in Salt Lake City four years ago.

While Kwan wouldn't speculate on her future (''I can't even think past right now."), it's almost certain that her decision also put an end to the most distinguished career in US women's figure skating, which includes Olympic silver and bronze medals, five world titles, and nine US crowns.

Kwan, who hadn't skated in a major event since last March, and in only four since 2003, hadn't been picked for next month's world championships in Calgary. She has been facing an uphill challenge to be competitive under the new ''code of points" scoring system that rewards more difficult jumps, more complex spins, and more intricate footwork. ''I've done pretty well in the 6.0 system," she said. ''I like that system. But unfortunately, I have to evolve with the sport."

When she finished fourth at last year's worlds in Moscow, missing the podium for the first time in a decade, Kwan knew she'd fallen behind the curve. ''It was a big eye-opener for me," she said. ''I realized I was lacking a lot of spins, a lot of footwork, and a lot of things in between."

Her jumps needed upgrading, too. At a time when her top rivals were doing triple-triple combinations and landing triple axels, Kwan still was doing triple-doubles. Unless she upped the ante across the board, Kwan knew that she had little chance of winning gold here.

Once she injured a right hip ligament in October, then pulled a right groin muscle in December, Kwan had no chance to make up ground. Withdrawing from last month's US championships and obtaining a controversial medical waiver onto the Olympic team merely bought her a few more weeks to heal and do the minimum necessary to pass her fitness tests three days before the Jan. 30 roster deadline.

After marching in Friday night's opening ceremonies, Kwan said she felt stiff when she took the ice for the first time at the Palaghiaccio practice rink, but was eager to get her legs under her again after a long trip from Los Angeles. ''It's the Olympics," she said. ''You've got to push."

When she fell on a triple flip, Kwan sensed her hip wasn't right. ''But I didn't think, 'This is going to be bad, I can't skate after this,' " she said. After a couple more falls, though, Kwan cut her session short and returned to the Athletes' Village for therapy and ice. ''Later on in the day, it just got worse and worse," she said. ''I knew it was not something that would go away right now. I didn't think in my heart I could be at my best."

After Jim Moeller, a US team physician, examined her at 2:15 a.m. and concluded that Kwan couldn't skate without risking further injury, she decided to pull out. ''I don't think I can be 100 percent," a somber, black-garbed Kwan said at a press conference yesterday morning. ''I respect the Olympics too much to compete when I don't feel I can be at my best."

Kwan's withdrawal put an end to an Olympic soap opera that began 12 years ago, when she went to Lillehammer at 13 as a potential replacement for either the injured Nancy Kerrigan or Tonya Harding, who was facing arrest for her role in Kerrigan's January knee-whacking.

In 1998, she was favored for the gold in Nagano, but ended up with silver behind 15-year-old teammate Tara Lipinski. Four years ago, Kwan again was favored, but settled for bronze behind 16-year-old teammate Sarah Hughes and Irina Slutskaya.

This time, she was the sentimental, if not the realistic, favorite in her final appearance. ''The support has been awesome," Kwan said before her pullout. ''Letters and get-well cards: ''C'mon, Michelle, you can do it!' " If they could skate for me, they would."

Emily Hughes, who was third at the US championships in January behind Sasha Cohen and Kimmie Meissner, got the call during dinner at a Long Island restaurant last night and will arrive here later this week. ''I know she'll have an amazing time," said Kwan, who reportedly turned down an offer to work the broadcast booth for NBC. ''She'll make the country proud. I know she's been working hard and she'll be ready."

Kwan, who went to four Games and skated at two, said she'll be heading home. ''I don't want to be a distraction here," she said.

Ever since she first turned up at the 1993 nationals as a ponytailed 12-year-old, Kwan has been in the spotlight. She won her first world title in 1996, performing as a 15-year-old Salome. After that, she mused, winning the Olympics ''would be the cherry on top of a perfect sundae."

No skater ever had won five world titles without collecting that gilded cherry, but Kwan said she could move on without it. ''I have no regrets," she said. ''I tried my hardest. If I don't win the gold, it's OK. I've had a great career. I've been very lucky."

She could have crossed her fingers this week and hoped for a miracle. But Kwan insists that she always listens to her body and what her body told her Saturday is that she had little chance here. The prudent and proper thing, she concluded, was to withdraw gracefully from the stage. ''I've learned it's not about the gold," Kwan said. ''It's about the spirit of it, and the sport itself."