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On Second Thought

Man of the cloth, not cleats

By Kevin Paul Dupont
April 24, 2011

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What in God’s name was he doing on a soccer field? That’s not exactly what Chase Hilgenbrinck said to himself, not word for word, perhaps not even consciously. But the thought was in his head, and most importantly, and undeniably, each day it took up greater space in his heart.

Soccer was his life’s work then, Hilgenbrinck’s be all and end all, and at age 26 he was a member of the New England Revolution, making a living in Major League Soccer. For a kid who had grown up in Bloomington, Ill., aiming one day to play for Team USA in the World Cup, could it have been any better than right there, right then?

Hilgenbrinck’s answer: Yes.

In fact, he had answered that for himself many months before he signed on with the Revolution. He was living in Chile in 2007, where the team he played for had just won the national championship, and it was in the middle of all the celebratory hullabaloo when Hilgenbrinck realized he would choose a calling to spirituality over a career in sports.

“I remember sitting up in my bed days later,’’ Hilgenbrinck said recently, musing over what he calls the “process of discernment’’ that led him to the Catholic priesthood, “after all the parades and the parties were over. I remember just consciously realizing that I was achieving my goals, my life goals and my dreams. And at the same time, you know, I felt in my heart that there was something that was still missing . . . that it didn’t fulfill me.’’

All of which is why Hilgenbrinck in the summer of 2008, at the end of his one season with the Revolution, abruptly informed the coaching staff that he would not be back. Not in 2009. Not ever. He loved it, lived it, and now it was time for something else, something bigger. All things considered, he told them, he’d just rather be a priest.

“The Lord spoke to me through that which I love most, soccer,’’ he recalled when reached during his break in studies at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, Md., “and I was concentrating my whole life on being a professional athlete and what that entailed. I loved soccer. I had worked my whole life for it. I didn’t want to give it up, and that was certainly hard for me to do when I felt the Lord calling me . . . and that’s when I realized that the Lord’s plan for my life was something to be reckoned with and something that I had to answer to.’’

Last week was Holy Week in the Catholic Church, for which today is Easter, the day when Catholics celebrate the central belief of their religion that the crucified Jesus Christ, God’s son, rose from the dead. Nearly three years into his studies at Mount St. Mary’s, Hilgenbrinck was home in Bloomington these last few days, working in his home parish, Holy Trinity, and will be at Monsignor Doug Hennessy’s side today to aid in the celebration of Easter Masses.

“Everybody at the seminary gets the week off,’’ explained Hilgenbrinck. “It’s kind of our vacation.’’

Fewer and fewer young men today opt for the priesthood, in part why here in Boston, and in many of the Catholic dioceses throughout the country, parishes have closed or merged with other parishes. The Boston Archdiocese, still recovering from the clergy sex abuse history that spanned decades and came to light only some 10 years ago, has so few priests in the pipeline that it recently raised the age of its priests’ retirement from 70 to 75. The priest shortage, hand in hand with fewer parishioners in pews, soon is expected to bring another round of parish mergers.

While few men choose the calling, even fewer choose it over professional sports. Hilgenbrinck’s decision received a fair amount of media attention at the time, but it paled in comparison to that of Grant Desme, a top Oakland A’s prospect who in January 2010, at age 23, left his game behind for the priesthood.

According to Hilgenbrinck, he talked some months ago with Desme, prior to the latter entering a Norbertine order of priests in Silverado, Calif. In keeping with Norbertine practice, explained Hilgenbrinck, Desme has subsequently changed his name to Brother Matthew and no longer has a phone, which means the two aren’t likely to speak again any time soon.

“We shared the experience of coming to know God’s will for our lives,’’ said Hilgenbrinck. “It was beautiful, how many things we shared in common.’’

As obvious as the decision finally became for Hilgenbrinck, he labored with it. That’s not to say he fought it, but he struggled to understand it, decipher why the priesthood was right for him. Did it feel countercultural? Without question, he said, noting the times we live in with such emphasis on material goods and society’s overall marginalization of spirituality.

“I had grown up in the Catholic Church and I knew what a priest was,’’ he recalled, “but I didn’t know what it meant for me. I certainly didn’t want to be a priest . I didn’t know how I was going to be able to live this lifestyle. I didn’t have close friends that were priests. I didn’t experience it, not ever.’’

Taylor Twellman, one of his teammates at the time, was among the many in the dressing room who were initially shocked when Hilgenbrinck said he was leaving the Revs for the Reverends.

“Because, let’s face it,’’ said Twellman, “the locker room is not the most priestly place in the world. But knowing Chase, who he was, it made sense. You know, some guys go out on the field and they turn into animals out there. Not Chase. Terrific guy. Same guy on the field and in the locker room.’’

Hilgenbrinck has three more years at the seminary before he will be ordained a priest in Peoria, Ill., at the Cathedral of St. Mary of the Immaculate Conception in May 2014. He is officially halfway through the process and will be 32 when he finally takes on the day-to-day life of a parish priest, celebrating weddings for those in love, burying the dearly departed, tending after his flock in various spiritual and sacramental ways. It’s a life far more complex than one spent chasing a ball around a field, but Hilgenbrinck still keeps a little of his old world in his life. Mount St. Mary’s is also a Catholic university and he is chaplain to its men’s soccer team.

“So I get to play actually whenever I want,’’ Hilgenbrinck said, his voice as animated as one might expect from a former MLS player who turned to the priesthood. “Not as much as I like, but . . . ’’

Every fall since his arrival at Mount St. Mary’s, Hilgenbrinck also has played in a four-team tournament among local seminaries. For the record, Mount St. Mary’s has won the Rector’s Cup each of those three years. The Revolution’s loss is Mount St. Mary’s ringer.

“Yeah, that’s what they say,’’ laughed Hilgenbrinck, “but they won the Cup before I got here as well. I think we are going on six straight years of winning the Rector’s Cup.’’

So, Hilgenbrinck’s playing days are not finished. He simply has surrounded himself with different competition, lives with a different purpose, plays on a much bigger field.

Regrets? Not one, he said, though he gets the question all the time and he doesn’t expect that to end for a while.

“Being [at Mount St. Mary’s] for these three years, just that would have been absolutely worth leaving soccer behind,’’ he said. “I am much happier now. I am much more at peace in my heart with what I am doing now than I ever was as a professional athlete, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

“I have absolutely no regrets. This has been the most blessed decision I have made in my entire life.’’

What in God’s name was Chase Hilgenbrinck doing on a soccer field? Here on Easter Sunday, it sounds like he was getting to where he needed to go.

Kevin Paul Dupont’s “On Second Thought’’ appears on Page 2 of the Sunday Globe Sports section. He can be reached at dupont@globe.com.

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