Strides in race today to be latest in stirring recovery

With unflinching honesty, Brian Wean recalls when and why he finally asked for help. Evicted from his apartment and addicted to drugs and alcohol, he partied late and crashed at a friend's house in Cleveland one night in November 2002. Wean woke up the next morning and thought to himself, "Well, I kind of don't want to die today."

For the first time, the despair and depression fueled by cocaine, ecstasy, psychedelics, whiskey, and gin cleared long enough for Wean to realize he needed treatment. He walked the mile to his father's home ready to attempt sobriety.

"I was like, 'I need help or this is going to kill me,' " said Wean. "I had basically put myself in situations that normal people wouldn't, just bad situations where there would be weapons involved and really shady people. At the time, I thought that was normal, but, in reality, no normal human being would put themselves in those type of situations and be comfortable. I was wickedly depressed all the time, hated life, hated myself. I knew deep down that [if I went] any lower, I'd be dead shortly . . . There were definitely incidents where I'm way lucky to be alive."

Fast-forward almost four years. Qualifying for the 111th Boston Marathon last fall, the 25-year-old Wean experienced "one of the happiest moments" of his life. Reaching the finish line of the Twin Cities Marathon in 3:08:01, Wean had come further than he ever imagined. Beating the Boston Marathon qualifying time of 3 hours 10 minutes for men ages 18-34 was proof of the major strides he had made.

With rehab and then running, Wean began his life anew. No longer abusing drugs and alcohol or smoking two packs a day, no longer eating fast food or even drinking sugar-filled soda, the 5-foot-11-inch, 165-pound Wean lives and looks nothing like his former self (he's lost 40 pounds since taking up running). He sees his place among runners this morning in Hopkinton as the continuation of big accomplishments.

"For a long time, I never really thought I'd amount to anything or that I could do anything that, to me, was great," said Wean. "[Qualifying for Boston] was something that I did myself, that I set out to do and did all the work for. My own determination got me there, which is not something that I had experienced before. So, it was definitely an entirely new feeling when I saw the time.

"My family is really excited and proud of the sobriety thing because it basically brought me back to them and brought them back to me, but the running thing is on a whole new plane. For lack of a better way to put it, they really like the person I am now because of the sobriety, and the running has changed me, too. It's made me more disciplined. It's helped me set my priorities straight. It's taught me that if there's something I want bad enough, all I've got to do is put the work in, however much work it may be."

For a long time, Wean cared nothing for work, just for fitting in with his peers. The need for acceptance drove his addiction; doing drugs and drinking made Wean feel he belonged. The hard work began when Wean entered the Hazelden treatment center in Minnesota for 28 days, then spent 3 1/2 months in a halfway house in St. Paul supervised by the treatment center.

"When Brian sets his mind to something, he does it and that's one of the things that got me really frustrated with him doing drugs and alcohol," said his mother, Gigi Abbo, who will be in the crowd cheering on Wean. "I said, 'Why? He's such a smart kid with so much potential.' . . . I was hoping someday he'd wake up. Luckily, he did."

Added his father, Gordon Wean: "It's really remarkable to see the transformation from someone who had so little discipline to someone who has the discipline to achieve what he has. As part of the continuum of getting healthy, [the interest in distance running] was great news."

When finished with rehab, Wean did not return to either Florida or the Cleveland area, where he lived previously, but he remained in St. Paul because it was "where I started my life over and I figured I might as well stick it out and see how it plays out." In a metropolitan area with an active running community, plenty of trails to run on and lakes to run around, Wean finally found a place where he belonged.

Wean was hooked on distance running the moment he completed his first road race -- finishing an 8-kilometer competition with friends provided a natural high. He ran more races, talked regularly with running friends training for marathons, and decided to try 26.2 miles. Wean devoured magazines such as Runners' World and Running Times for training tips and programs, though he generally devises his own course of action. So far, that strategy has worked as Wean has reached every time goal he has set. Before qualifying for Boston in the Twin Cities Marathon, he ran 3:55:58 at the Miami Marathon in January 2006, then 3:30:12 at the Cleveland Marathon in May 2006.

"I remember during the [Twin Cities] race, there were times when I was just thinking, 'Please don't let anything hurt. Please don't let anything shut down,' because I knew I was on pace to for sure hit 3:10," said Wean. "I was excited and nervous at the same time. I tried to be a little bit more conservative than I'm known to be."

With solid training (50-100 miles per week that include plenty of hills) and fast racing (18:32 in a 5K a couple of weeks ago) in the months leading to Boston, Wean hopes he can set a personal best and break three hours in the Marathon. But he knows the big strides made in his first three marathons will not be easily replicated, especially with difficult weather conditions today. Wean expects to lower his marathon time steadily in the future. Someday, he would like to run a marathon in 2 hours 30 minutes, not far from the men's Olympic trials "B" qualifying standard of 2:22.

"Yeah, I'd like to [be a national-caliber marathoner]," said Wean. "Maybe it's dreaming a little big. The one thing that I know is that in eight months I've dropped my time by almost 50 minutes. I know the lower my times get it's going to be less and less [of a drop] . . . If I got down to 2:30ish, that would be awesome. Honestly, I've proven to myself that if I want something bad enough and I work enough, I can get there. I'm definitely going to be running a bunch in the coming year. I don't see myself stopping."

For a change, that is very good news for Wean and those who care about him.

Shira Springer can be reached at springer@globe.com.