The Texas Rangers? Yawwwwn. They weren't even interesting when Chuck Norris had that show about them.

Sure, the Red Sox' opponent the next three days has had a few great players (Nolan Ryan, A-Rod, P-Rod, Oddibe McDowell) and some decent seasons (three AL West titles in four years in the late '90s) in their existence, but if you think there's a more irrelevant longstanding franchise in baseball, you must live in San Diego.

But if you look hard enough, there are at least a few interesting notables, anecdotes, and facts about the Rangers. Eight, to be precise:

1. The Rangers have a mostly well-deserved reputation as an organization that fails to develop pitching, but the reality is that they've had a number of outstanding arms the past few seasons and sent them all away. Consider the staff they could have:

LHP John Danks (traded to the White Sox for Brandon McCarthy)

RHP Armando Galarraga (traded to the Tigers for minor leaguer Michael Hernandez)

RHP Edinson Volquez (traded to the Reds for Roy Hobbs - can't really fault them there)

RHP Chris Young (see item No. 4)

RHP Justin Duchscherer (traded to the A's for Luis Vizcaino)

LHP Doug Davis (waived in April '03)

2. I always thought of Michael Young as a home-grown Ranger (until the arrival of Josh Hamilton, he was probably their signature player), but he was actually heisted from the Blue Jays in July 2000 for Esteban Loaiza.

3. Here in New England, we tend to think of goofy, Bill Lee-sucker-punching Mickey Rivers as a dastardly Yankee, but he also had some late-career moments as a Ranger, batting .333 with a 119 OPS+ in 1980. And if you think this is just my excuse to link to a page of Rivers's greatest quotes, you'd be correct. A sample:

"Out of what, a thousand?"

- Rivers, responding to teammate Reggie Jackson's claim he had an IQ of 160.

I doubt even that comeback shut Reggie up.

4. Through a series of savvy trades, the Rangers basically turned future home run king Alex Rodriguez into . . . well, nothing. In Feb. '04, the Rangers sent A-Rod to the Yankees for Alfonso Soriano and a prospect. In Dec. '05, Soriano was swapped to Washington for Brad Wilkerson, Terrmel Sledge, and Galarraga. Wilkerson left as a free agent after last season, Galarraga went to Detroit, and Sledge was dealt in another terrible Rangers trade, moving to San Diego along with Young and Adrian Gonzalez for Adam Eaton and Akinori Otsuka. How come no one told me Matt Millen used to run the Rangers too?

5. The Rangers are the subject of one of the most underrated and hilarious baseball books of the past 20 years, Mike Shropshire's "Seasons in Hell," a recollection of covering the franchise - and a cast of characters including Billy Martin, Whitey Herzog, and David Clyde - in the early- and mid-'70s. It gets the official TATB recommendation, which as you know is almost, but not quite, as powerful as a book plug on "Oprah."

Playing nine innings while wishing the sizzling Sox had a ballgame tonight . . .

1. Theo Epstein deserves endless credit for his shrewd maneuvering after the trading deadline. In both Paul Byrd and Mark Kotsay, he's acquired exactly what the Red Sox needed, a dependable old pro capable of steady if not spectacular contributions. It reminds of the way the Yankees always used to seem to get what they needed in late July and August; they'd add a David Justice, while the Sox would bring in some stiff like Ed Sprague. In a related note, on the days when Terry Francona pencils in an outfield of Kotsay, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Coco Crisp, is that the best defensive trio in Red Sox history? All three of those guys are above-average center fielders. And no, Jimy Williams, your Lewis-Buford-Bragg daydream does not qualify.

2. I've enjoyed watching A.J. Burnett pitch dating back to his days with the Sea Dogs a decade ago, and I realize the brash righty has long been a favorite of John Henry's. But I can't imagine that there's much legitimacy to this report (via SoSH) that the Sox will pursue him in the offseason should he opt out of his deal with the Jays as expected. For all of Burnett's ability - and he has a ton, perhaps the best arm in the AL - he's a 31-year-old injury-prone underachiever, a real-life Nuke LaLoosh whose similarity comp is career 74-game winner Chuck Dobson. I'd rather he gets his next ridiculous eight-figure contract elsewhere. Preferably the Bronx.

3. Until the Yankees are officially, mathematically, stake-through-their-cold-hearts dead when it comes to their playoff hopes, I just can't bring myself to root for them, even when they're playing the team the Sox are chasing in the standings. Wanting the Yankees to lose - and lose painfully - is an instinct that you can't turn off just because they're suddenly irrelevant . . . though with a few more seasons of practice I suppose I could learn.

4. Looks like the player we pegged in yesterday's post as Dustin Pedroia's main competition for the AL Most Valuable Player award may not be able to make his case for at least a few games, and perhaps more. White Sox slugger Carlos Quentin, who has had a remarkable breakthrough season with 36 homers and 100 RBIs, is sidelined with a sore right forearm, and the team says he'll miss a week and maybe longer. If Quentin can't come back anytime soon, Pedroia has to be considered the easy favorite for MVP, and no, I never would have thought three months ago that I'd be writing those words.

5. It's not quite Pedroia-esque, but Brandon Moss has been on an impressive tear himself lately for the Pirates, batting .366 with four homers since Aug. 20, and posting multiple hits in five of his last eight games. You might recall that Moss was a binky of ours around here - I still think he will be a better hitter than David Murphy and could have Trot Nixon's career - but there was no real place for him with the Sox, and it's nice to see him getting his deserved and overdue chance to establish himself in the big leagues.

Should Dustin Pedroia win the American League MVP award? Let's put it this way: If he keeps hitting like this, his 2007 Rookie of the Year award is guaranteed to have some glitzy company atop the mantel.

Oh, we all know the Red Sox' version of Tanner Boyle doesn't exactly look the part. He'd be one of the smallest MVPs of modern times - he's listed at 5 feet 9 inches and 180 pounds, which, according to baseballreference.com, makes him allegedly two inches taller and 20 pounds heavier than two-time NL MVP Joe Morgan.

But Pedroia's numbers are staggering for a hitter of any stature. He's leading the American League in batting (.330), hits (188), multiple-hit games (55) and runs (108) and third in doubles (43) and total bases (283). He has knocked in 22 runs in his last 19 games, is batting .600 over his last seven games, and has nine hits in 14 at-bats in the cleanup spot.

According to the Elias Stats Bureau via Buster Olney's blog, Pedroia is the first player in Red Sox history with a five-run, a five-hit, and a five-RBI game in the same season. Considering the hitters who have graced this franchise, that is an incredibly impressive accomplishment.

As is this: Pedroia has emerged as the batter you want to see up in a key situation, and that is a heck of a feat considering one of his teammates is David Americo Ortiz, a.k.a. "The Greatest Clutch Hitter in the History of the Boston Red Sox." (No offense, Impossible Dreamers; that is what the plaque says.)

When the calendar turns to September, it's tradition here at TATB that at least some of our harebrained sporting thoughts turn to football and the Patriots. I apologize in advance for the dumb things I'll write in the months to come (I'm still smarting from arrogantly predicting a Super Bowl blowout). So with that disclaimer out of the way, let's kick things off (groan) with a look at a few of the names caught up in Bill Belichick's odd game of roster roulette the past few days . . .

John Lynch: Like most of you, I imagine, I loved the idea of Lynch on the Pats, but the version in my mind's eye was much different than the one we saw on the field this preseason - namely, the helmet-cracking force I remembered was about five years younger and three steps faster. Though it sounds like there's a decent chance he'll rejoin the Patriots over the course of the long season - he's apparently on Belichick's taxi squad of future Hall of Famers, along with Junior Seau and, I believe, Paul Warfield and Lawrence Taylor - I wasn't surprised he was let go. Mike Shanahan in Denver didn't seem to think he could run anymore, and I wouldn't surprised if Belichick came to the same ruthless conclusion after watching Lynch struggle to keep up with young, fast, and mostly anonymous receivers in the preseason. Ultimately, there may be a role for him here, but sentiment aside, I'd prefer faster players to aging, famous ones.

Chad Jackson: I imagine his famous final scene unfolded this way:

Assistant coach/grim reaper: "Chad, coach wants to see you in his office. Bring your playbook."

Jackson, dropping the PS3 controller in astonishment: "Dude, wait . . . we have plays. Like on Madden?"

It was obvious Jackson had a ton of physical ability. It was also obvious that Tom Brady had no faith in him to be at the right place at the right time on the football field, and when you're a wide receiver and the Franchise doesn't trust you, well . . . let's just say it isn't long before the Patriots send you to a nice home out in the country, where you spend your days obliviously running around in a field alongside Bethel Johnson, Doug Gabriel, Tony Simmons, and Donald Hayes. I'm sure he's happy there.

‘‘I never thought I would walk a jockey. I must be the worst manager ever in the history of baseball right now, walking a guy that just came from being on top of Big Brown to beat the White Sox.’’

- White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, after intentionally walking cleanup hitter (and apparent two-sport Triple Crown threat) Dustin Pedroia tonight.