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The last word

  July 26, 2008 07:10 PM

Ten free minutes for me, 10 free throwaway lines for you . . .

1. Manny could save himself and his exasperated fans so much grief if he just called the media over to his locker and said, "Listen, guys. My knee is killing me despite what the MRI says, but I realize the Yankees are closing in on us, our offense is struggling, and the team needs me out there, so I'm going to try to play through it. Understood? Good. Now go ask Tito why he never pinch hits for Varitek in the late innings. That's the real crime against baseball around here."

2. As umpire Marty Foster was expanding the strike zone to Eric Gregg proportions Friday night, for the first time in a while I found myself wishing Sean McDonough was still calling Red Sox games rather than Don Orsillo. McDonough never hesitated to call out an incompetent umpire - yes, sometimes to the point of annoyance - while Orsillo seems to go out of his way not to be critical, even when the evidence is right there on the screen. I'll take the former over the latter every time.

Tedy Bruschi
(AP Photo)
3. Brett Favre to the J-E-T-S? Please, please, please, football gods, make this happen. If I may be so vindictive, I want this self-absorbed fraud's Namath-on-the-Rams moments to come against the Patriots.

4. I'm not saying the "Mad Men" marathon I zipped through this weekend has completely altered my view of the world, but I'm seriously considering taking up smoking Lucky Strikes and drinking scotch in the office, and from now on I'm going to openly refer to my wife and her friends as "the hens." Or maybe I'll go with "chickens." I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. (Seriously, this is a brilliant, if impossibly bleak, show. Thanks for the reluctant tip, Matthew Gilbert.)

5. Believe it or not, I'm actually glad the Celtics re-signed Tony Allen. He might be a numbskull, but he's our numbskull, and at least he can play defense. He was the best of an uninspiring collection of alternatives to replace James Posey. What, you'd prefer Darius Miles?

6. I heard Joe Castiglione comparing young shortstop Jed Lowrie (who looks much improved defensively and range-wise from what I saw in Portland last season) to Bill Mueller the other day, and I think we'd all be satisfied if that high-end projection came true. But I still think Lowrie's more reminiscent of Mark Loretta, who came up with the Brewers as a shortstop and ended up having a nice, long career, first as a utilityman and then as a productive starting second baseman. I'm just glad no one's saying he's the next Julio Lugo.

7. An ARod-Madonna sex tape? Yikes. Given how jacked and pumped she is these days, it might be tough to tell the two of them apart.

8. Love the Pats' signing of running back LaMont Jordan, a versatile and bruising ballcarrier who, like Randy Moss a year ago, has to feel like he's getting a new lease on his football life after escaping Al Davis's asylum in Oakland.

9. Happy trails, Gordo. Yahoo! is getting an agenda-free reporter, a graceful wordsmith, and one heck of a nice guy.

10. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:

Until reading Paul Lukas's terrific UniWatch blog on ESPN.com today, I had no idea the Phantom of the Opera once played a mean right field for the Pirates. (Or, for that matter, that he smoked in the dugout.)

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33 comments so far...
  1. Gordo had Better NOT mean Gordon Edes is leaving the Globe---that would be a travesty of epic proportions, and shame on you Charles for not expounding a little as to who you were blogging about...

    Posted by Rob in CT July 27, 08 12:52 AM
  1. Rob: Yes, it is Gordon Edes, and to be fair to Chad, that isn't exactly new news in media circles. It's been widely reported for several months; his actual departure was delayed while he angled to be part of the Globe's last buyout.


    Posted by johnw July 27, 08 03:27 AM
  1. Charles?

    Posted by KPE July 27, 08 03:29 AM
  1. Good line on Varitek. Pinch hit for the guy, already!

    Posted by ron July 27, 08 09:49 AM
  1. Yeah, me, too. Out of all 10 points that was the one I latched onto.

    Posted by Gracie July 27, 08 10:01 AM
  1. I loved your comment about pinch hitting for Tek. What a disaster. Have you ever witnessed anything as pathetic as Tek at bat with runners in scoring position ?
    He is great with our pitchers, but I think we would be better served to have our pitchers bat in place of Tek.

    Next-You are dead right about Favre. What a self absorbed has been.

    Posted by Richard July 27, 08 10:12 AM
  1. Hey CF, i'm a huge New England sports fan living over in (Old) England. I used to spend my summers from '96-01 working near Portland Maine and would regularly catch Red Sox and Sea Dogs games during that time. It's more difficult for me to keep tabs these days, which is one reason why i love reading TATB, but it seems to me that this could be a pivotal point of the season for the Sox. There are a number of signs that make me think that the second half of the season will be somewhat anticlimactic, and not really sure where any solutions are coming from? Main worries:
    Winning close games- not just friday night's loss but there have been many games v Rays, and in Bronx for example, that the Sox would have come through to win last year, but this year are managing to drop.
    Hitting- Will Youk and Lowell see a second half drop in production? 'Tek, Crisp, Ellsbury are already worrying.
    Bullpen- when the ball goes to the 'pen in a close game i have to take my eyes of the gameday diamond and close the laptop.
    I'd love to hear people's comments/thoughts on the way the second half will pan out (cheer me up, please!). All the best.

    Posted by Matt UK July 27, 08 10:30 AM
  1. He did mean Gordon Edes is going to yahoo. Google "gordon edes to yahoo" and you'll see.

    Posted by Jason in MA July 27, 08 11:04 AM
  1. >> Gordo had Better NOT mean Gordon Edes is leaving the Globe

    It's been in the works for months.

    Posted by Ed July 27, 08 11:14 AM
  1. Edes is much like the rest of the Globe Sports writers in how he covers the team namely, "Speak No Evil" and especially so when there is a NESN gig hanging in the balance. Outside of constantly stating the obvious to the rest of us there is rarely any real analysis or insight into what is going on with particular players or the front office. I rarely agree with CHB but at least he's willing to go out on the limb now and then with some real commentary and analysis even if he has, from time to time, been Steinberg/Luchino's stooge.

    I say it's time for Chad Finn to take over the Red Sox beat. At least we will hear some hard truth now and then.

    Lastly, for as bad a job as Hansen did yesterday I will commend him for stepping up to the job on A-Rod. I hope Chambermaid got an earfull after the game.

    Posted by rob July 27, 08 11:26 AM
  1. Edes is obviously not as opinionated about the Sox as Shaughessy but I don't think it was his job to be. As I recall nobody came down harder on Manny for sitting out the last month of 2006 than Edes did. I thought he was very good at what he did. And if this opens up a spot for Chad that would be fine with me.

    Posted by Bob McNeil July 27, 08 11:52 AM
  1. I remember Tony Perez' short stint with the Sox being filled with dugout heaters (not fastballs).

    Posted by jim July 27, 08 12:17 PM
  1. Chad, re Mad Men. I was on board for the 1st season & it is a great show. The way things are going, we probably won't mind being dragged away from the Sox at 10PM. (check out Burn Notice, as well).

    Posted by Jeff/Maine July 27, 08 01:39 PM
  1. I'm staying right here, thanks, though some things may be changing soon where I actually get to write more.

    It's not really a beat writer's job to be overly opinionated. Gordo covered the beat and wrote about the team exactly the way it should be done.

    Posted by CF July 27, 08 01:55 PM
  1. Sean McDonough was the best play by play the Sox have had in a long time. He told it like it was. Don Orsillo is a hopeless homer who really does not know the game. Announcer Boy is not a joke, its a fact. He is plain vanilla, just like NESN likes it. Wonder if the NESN patsies will punish Eck for telling it like it is? I turn the post game show off immediately if he is not on it.

    Posted by BTM July 27, 08 02:46 PM
  1. You can pretty much lay both losses at Titos feet.
    Most of us can agree there are generally one, two, or three crossroads in each game where one team either does the right thing or does not.
    Friday night he puts on a ridiculous shift against a 250 hitter. I guess Im okay with shading the SS towards 2B but to pull him over to the right side is retarded. The Mustache isnt hitting 400. He isnt the Mustache Formerly Known as Ted Williams.

    Then yesterday to see the exchange between Ferell and Tito as Wakefield loaded them up.. Ferell looked absolutly shocked that TF was sending him out to settle down Timmeh.. Everyone including the two knuckleheads on FOX were shocked.
    And so it went.. Then Einstein brings in the Kid.. who just came off a strong outing this week, and to make up for the late hook he destroys any momentem Justin might have had going..it was just awful.

    Posted by TheKiecker July 27, 08 03:42 PM
  1. I don't believe a beat writer should be taking shots at guys but the Globe has earned a rep for being too chummy with the teams they cover and the objectivity is lacking. You can also report on issues surrounding the team that are controversial and getting quotes from sources on what's going on. When beat writers are appearing on the team's sports channel then I think they lose street cred.

    I work in a field where people get paid to write about companies and industry developments and I have seen too many times where news and analysis is watered down when people get too close and friendly with who and whatthey cover.

    Just my 2 cents...

    Posted by rob July 27, 08 04:04 PM
  1. Kiecker- So its the managers fault that the Sox managed 6 hits Friday night? Also that .250 hitter (the fact that you cite BA shows your baseball ignorance) pulls over 50% of his hits is proof that Francona should have used the shift, even if it didn't work this one time. BTW for his career, less than 20% of Giambi's hits go to opposite field. GiambI's OPS is 9th in the AL, btw.
    In regards to Masterson, the kid had a nice game against SEATTLE, the worst team in the AL. If Francona is going to be able to trust him in big time situations, he's going to have to take off the training wheels at some point.
    Its not even August and we haven't hit the trade deadline. There's no reason to freak out.

    Posted by Chief July 27, 08 08:15 PM
  1. I was trying to be facetious with his batting average. Note the Teddy comparisons.
    Wow over 50% he pulls balls? Like thats allmost more than half the time! So lets definately play that flyball hitter way over on the 2B side..

    You are baseball ignorant. Chief.

    Posted by TheKiecker July 27, 08 08:42 PM
  1. You proved my point. If a guy pulls the ball 50% of the time, with nearly half of those hits being on the ground, wouldn't you want the SS on the 2nd base side? Wouldn't that, you know, make sense?
    And how were you being facetious? You state that Francona is an idiot for pulling a 'ridiculous shift against a 250 hitter'. You phrase your argument in a way to cite BA, then when you realize its an empty stat (go lookup Lugo's BA), claim you were making a joke.
    Fact remains that Francona has won 58% of the games he's coached for the Sox. Tough to argue with results even if you don't like his style

    Posted by Chief July 27, 08 10:13 PM
  1. I never knew Manny read Internet blogs, but he musta read your piece... good call... Manny did not throw Tek under the bus but otherwise that was almost verbatim.... Did you advise him on what to sell the BBQ for on Ebay also? You must be embracing your inner child... good to see.

    Peter King be damned! Someone in the media finally sees Farve for what he is.... and "In Bill we Trust" will have a game plan ready fer sure, dudes... That'll be fun! We get to see 'Man Ingenuous' AND Brett 'Faaaa verrrrr 'take 2 tough hits a year for at least 2 years.... Yummy!

    Agree on Tony Allen as well... another year removed from the surgery and more schooling from the vets cannot be a bad thing especially when you look at the alternatives... right?
    I feel like too much of a 'Yes Man' so here's a complaint: Update your link from the Globe Sports page...it goes to your old column.

    Damn, if Madonna is NOT on PED's then that near 50yo has some serious amounts of natural testosterone. Her arms have more layers of muscle fiber than ape at the Frankli n Park Zoo. Scary...

    And Lamont Jordan is a great pick-up... I fear Sammy Morris is either not back 100% or even Faulk has some worrying to do, because this guy is way to good to be a 4th option.

    Posted by stevefiji July 27, 08 10:22 PM
  1. Correction, I mean please update the link from the Boston Dirt Dogs page...Ooops!

    Posted by stevefiji July 28, 08 04:00 AM
  1. One of the greatest lines from an announcer ever came from Sean McDonough. I believe it was vs the Tigers at Fenway when a younger ump was struggling with balls and strikes calls. "This home plate umpire has no clue" - with no clue being emphasized. Classic!

    Posted by Jeff from Alexandria July 28, 08 09:46 AM
  1. I'm thinking a 3-way deal:
    Manny to Arizona, Dodgers, Mets, or Twins,
    Prospects and/or players (like Conor Jackson) to Atlanta,
    Texeira to Boston.

    NL team gets a desperately needed bat, (Minn least likely)
    Atlanta avoids paying millions for sandwich picks,
    Sox replace production, (Youk to LF), and get a leg up on Tex long term.

    Posted by El July 28, 08 11:57 AM
  1. Glad to read another man on the Mad Men bandwagon. Next, check out Breaking Bad........it's finally ok to be ooga booga again.

    Posted by Joe July 28, 08 12:22 PM
  1. Please NO Texeira!!! He's put up numbers in the bandbox in Arlington and in the 4-A league known as the NL. Paying him big money to come here would be a HUGE mistake.
    Please no NL'ers. Just watch how Marte and Nady wilt in NY

    Posted by Chief July 28, 08 06:52 PM
  1. Teixeira's legit.

    Posted by CF July 28, 08 06:57 PM
  1. Wow 48 hours later.. and Tito trots out Masterson AGAIN!!! In a bad situation.

    But Im way off base..

    Posted by TheKiecker July 28, 08 09:06 PM
  1. You're right, Chief. Mike Lowell, Josh Beckett and J.D. Drew - all former NL'ers - haven't worked out at all.

    Posted by Stebe July 29, 08 09:37 AM
  1. Gordo's comment inserted into a news piece that the Red Sox had both knees MRI'd in case Manny forgot which one hurt was incredibly unprofessional.

    And Chad, if you edited his piece and left it in there, shame on you.

    Posted by Dan July 29, 08 12:24 PM
  1. Only place I read that was in Dan's column. And it sure sounds to me like it's the truth - that's why they had both knees checked.

    Posted by CF July 29, 08 02:25 PM
  1. If Manny weren't determined to head out of town, he would have been well served to say your words. Then he should have added this "Let me introduce you to my new spokesman who will answer all questions concerning my injuries you claim I don't have. His name is J.R. Richard."

    Posted by Neal July 29, 08 02:49 PM
  1. The reason the Sox needed two MRIs, as reported by Edes, makes sense when you have a problem employee. I'm sure he was simply echoing what the Sox managemet said to him. If Edes' info makes Manny look bad, then Manny needs to address it. Manny's had more overlooked moments than any local athlete I can think of. He's lost the benefit of the doubt.

    Posted by Matt G. July 29, 08 09:12 PM
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ABOUT TOUCHING ALL THE BASES
Irreverence and insight from Chad Finn, a Globe/Boston.com sports writer and lifelong and incurable sports nut. Yes, he realizes how lucky he is. You can e-mail him at chadfinn4@yahoo.com.
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contributor Chad is the founder and sole writer of the TATB blog, which launched in December 2004. Before joining the Globe in 2003, he was the assistant sports editor at the Concord (N.H.) Monitor for nine years, where he won several state, regional and national writing awards, including an Associated Press Sports Editors award for column writing in 2000. He lives in Wells, Maine, with his wife Jennifer, children Leah and Alex, and a cat named after Otis Nixon.
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