Sign o' the times
While we wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . . for Scott Boras to decide where Mark Teixeira is going to cash his obscene paychecks the next 8-10 years, let's take a chronological spin through the Red Sox' most notable and significant free agent signings since Theo Epstein was named general manager on Nov. 25, 2002 . . .
Dec. 24, 2002
Signed righthanded reliever Mike Timlin to a one-year, $1.85 million contract: Sure, Timlin might not know how to say goodbye -- his tenure here was at least a season too long -- but for the majority of his six seasons with the Sox, he was a true rarity, a setup man who is consistent and effective from season to season. It was a career worthy of his pride, and a pretty savvy first move by the young GM. (No, signing Ryan Rupe a couple of days before adding Timlin does not count. That was a practice signing for Theo.) Grade: B+
Dec. 29, 2002
Signed righthanded swingman Ramiro Mendoza to a two-year, $6.5 million contract: His greatest accomplishment with the Sox? Inspiring the term "The Embedded Yankee." He couldn't have looked more sheepish while receiving his World Series ring on Opening Day, 2005. He knew he had failed his mission. Grade: F
Jan. 14, 2003
Signed third baseman Bill Mueller to a two-year, $4.2 million contract with a club option for 2005: For someone who preferred to let others have the limelight, he sure had his share of spectacular moments and unforgettable accomplisments in Boston: The batting championship, the grand slams from each side of the plate one hot August night in Texas, the homer off Mo Rivera during the symbolic victory during the 2004 regular season . . . and of course, the single that plated Dave Roberts after The Steal. It's no wonder he remains universally admired by Sox fans, and it's too bad his career ended so abruptly. Grade: A
Jan. 22, 2003
Signed designated hitter David Ortiz to a one-year, $1.25 million contract: If there's a more important personnel move in franchise history, it hasn't happened yet. Grade: A+++++++ (pluses to infinity)
* * *
Dec. 13, 2003
Signed righthanded closer Keith Foulke to a three-year, $20.75 million contract with a fourth-year option: One of the many remarkable things about the Sox' run to the championship in 2004 was that virtually everyone on the postseason roster contributed in some meaningful way. But Foulke, along with Big Papi and Curt Schilling, were downright legendary throughout the playoffs, and it would be a shame -- not to mention an indictment of Red Sox fans -- if the closer who very possibly sacrificed the remainder of his career to win that championship is remembered for anything other than that. Grade: A
* * *
Dec. 14, 2004
Signed lefthanded starter David Wells to a two-year, $8 million contract: The Sox got one decent year (15 wins, ERA+ of 102), one injury-plagued year, and more than a few headaches. Pretty much what they should have expected, in other words. Grade: C
Dec. 17, 2004
Signed shortstop Edgar Renteria to a four-year, $40 million contract: Hate to admit it, because I loved this signing at the time, but it turned out Tony La Russa was right; the quiet shortstop never got comfortable during his one season in the Boston spotlight. Of course, it didn't help his cause that there were shortstops in the Egyptian Mummies Senior Co-Ed Baseball League who had better range. Ah, at least they're finally done paying him. Grade: D
Dec. 22, 2004
Signed righthanded starter Matt Clement to a three-year, $25 million contract: The Red Sox formally added Clement five days after completing the Renteria deal. In retrospect, the franchise would have been better served had Theo spent that week following Pearl Jam around South America. Grade: C-
Dec. 24, 2004
Re-signed catcher Jason Varitek to a four-year, $40 million contract: None of the usual Tek-deriding snark today; hey, this turned out to be a fair deal for both sides. Grade: B
* * *
Winter, 2005
No signings of significance. Unless you believe John Flaherty, Josias Manzanillo, and Rudy Seanez should count. And I don't think you do. Grade: Who cares?
* * *
Nov. 30, 2006
Signed lefthanded reliever Hideki Okajima to a two-year, $2.5 million contract with a club option for 2009: The 2007 championship trophy wouldn't be Red Sox property without his essential contributions. And to think we thought he was brought aboard to be Dice-K's caddy first and a long reliever second. Grade: B+
Dec. 13, 2006
Signed shortstop Julio Lugo to a four-year, $36 million contract: I am not saying this with the benefit of hindsight, because it's how I felt all along: What did they ever see in this utterly mediocre ballplayer that made them think he was worth even a fraction of this contract? I still haven't heard a reasonable explanation from Theo. Maybe he'll tell us in his memoirs someday. Grade: D-
Dec. 14, 2006
Signed righthanded starter Daisuke Matsuzaka to a six-year, $52 million contract: He sure can be a drag to watch, but with 33 wins and a 3.72 ERA in two seasons, he's been worth every dollar, posting fee included. Grade: B+
Jan. 26, 2007
Signed outfielder J.D. Drew to a five-year, $70 million contract: I suppose he's more overpaid than most players of similar accomplishment, and he's about as fragile as a teenager's ego, but I just don't think of this as a bad deal. He's a valuable offensive player, and he's delivered so often in the postseason that I've developed a begrudging respect for the almost indifferent way he approaches the game. It works for him. You know, when he plays. Grade: C+
* * *
Nov. 6, 2007
Signed righthanded starter Curt Schilling to a one-year, $8 million contract: Sure, he got paid a nice pile of cash to throw exactly one pitch -- and that was of the ceremonial variety before a playoff game. But they had to keep someone around to slug Manny whenever he got out of line. I assume Kung-Fu Schilling's next stop will be on the Ultimate Fighting circuit. Grade: Incomplete
Nov. 20, 2007
Signed third baseman Mike Lowell to a three-year, $37.5 million contract: His fate hinges on Teixeira's decision, but the argument can be made that this deal is the closest the Red Sox have come in the Epstein Era to allowing sentiment to influence their perception of a player's value. Grade: C+
* * *
Dec. ????, 2008
[Theo hands over a suitcase full of cash to a smirking man who appears to have a pair of small horns poking out of his hair:] "Here's the $200 million in unmarked bills you requested, as well as the contractual rights to the souls of every unborn child in Boston. Now c'mon, Scott!!! Give us Teixeira!!! You promised!!!"
ABOUT TOUCHING ALL THE BASESIrreverence and insight from Chad Finn, a Globe/Boston.com sports writer and lifelong and incurable sports nut. Yes, he realizes how lucky he is. You can e-mail him at chadfinn4@yahoo.com.
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