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Who are these guys?

Posted by Chad Finn, Globe Staff  May 19, 2009 04:48 PM

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Time to catch up on some extremely random lists of five:

Five best defensive center fielders to play for the Red Sox in my lifetime:
1. Coco Crisp: Yes, sometimes he took curious routes, but I've never seen a outfielder so consistently spectacular as Crisp in '07.
2. Fred Lynn: Fragile but fearless. Even his home run trot was graceful.
3. Damon Buford: And unlike most recent Sox center fielders, he could throw.
4. Darren Lewis: Jimy's pet. Got robbed of a Gold Glove by Bernie Williams, a lesser defender.
5. Jacoby Ellsbury: Worry he's going to bust his wrist on one of his diving catches.

Five players linked to steroids who would get my hypothetical Hall of Fame vote:
1. Roger Clemens
2. Barry Bonds
3. Mike Piazza
4. Alex Rodriguez
5. Manny. Sigh.
Hat tip: Jon Heyman.

Five Red Sox pitchers who had at least some major league success without a major league fastball:
1. Mike Boddicker. Won 39 games in two-plus seasons with the Sox.
2. Dana Kiecker. Won eight games for '90 AL East champs, including a huge one in late August. Still not sure how he did it.
3. Kevin Morton.
4. Paul Byrd.
5. Tim Wakefield. Yep, a total cop out. I know you guys can come up with 10 more, at least.

Five enjoyable Twitter feeds, non-Globe division:
1. Steve Rushin
2. Pete Carroll. He Tweeted from the Sox-Angels game last week. Rooting for the Angels, of course.
3. Shaq. Impossible not to like him after reading his Tweets.
4. Heyman. Lots of opinionated baseball updates.
5. Ahem. C'mon. It crushes my soul that I have fewer followers than the SportsGal.

Five of the 10 most similar hitters to David Ortiz in baseball history according to baseballreference.com:
1. Richie Sexson. Uh-oh.
2. Danny Tartabull. Yikes
3. Mo Vaughn. I don't like this list.
4. Cecil Fielder. I really don't like this list.
5. Ryan Klesko. What, no Kent Hrbek?

Five of the 10 most similar hitters to Terry Francona in baseball history according to baseballreference.com:
1. Thad Bosley. Lots of good names on this list. Not a lot of production.
2. Carlos Quintana. Probably the only first baseman in Sox history whose approach was to hit a single to right field.
3. Dane Iorg. He was no Garth Iorg.
4. Broderick Perkins. A Strat-O-Matic favorite after hitting .370 in 1980.
5. Hosken Powell. He was no Bombo Rivera.

Five upcoming free agents I'd like to see sign with the Celtics (one major pipe dream included):
1. Ron Artest. Yep, he's certifiable. He'd also be an awesome sixth man.
2. Chris Anderson. The Birdman would be a perfect fit.
3. Antonio McDyess. Shoulda come here when Denver let him go.
4. Matt Barnes. Toughness off the bench.
5. Shelden Williams. On the off chance his career is salvageable. Hey, there's not much to choose from. Danny Ainge has his work cut out for him.

Five who pitched for the 1999 Red Sox. Or, thanks, Duquette, for never surrounding Pedro with legitimate talent:
1. Kirk Bullinger
2. Tim Harikkala
3. Bob Wolcott
4. The loathsome Mark Portugal
5. Marino Santana. By the way, did I mention Mark Portugal was loathsome? It's true.

Five Red Sox' No. 1 prospects according to Baseball America, 1998-02:
1. Brian Rose, 1998: 15 wins, 23 losses, 5.86 ERA in parts of five MLB seasons.
2. Dernell Stenson, 1999: Met a brutal, tragic demise just as it seemed he was breaking through with the Reds.
3. Steve Lomasney, 2000: Got both of his big league at-bats with the '99 Sox.
4. Stenson, 2001.
5. Seung Song, 2002: Never pitched in majors, but did appear in three Futures Games.

About Touching All The Bases

Irreverence and insight from Chad Finn, a Globe/Boston.com sports writer and media columnist. A winner of several national and regional writing awards, he is the founder and sole contributor to the TATB blog, which launched in December 2004. Yes, he realizes how lucky he is.

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