I'm sure you're all too familiar with the flammable culprits in this 'pen-wide tribute to Heathcliff Slocumb. But I'm still fuming in the aftermath of tonight's loss, so what the heck, let's point some fingers:

Three seasons into his big-league career, Manny Delcarmen still gets the Schiraldi Eyes in big situations; he simply cannot be trusted in a tight game, a damning indictment of a pitcher with his ability. But I'm sure he'd put up sick numbers as a Washington National.

Craig Hansen possesses the stuff but not the command, and if you don't have command at this level, well, you're about as useful as Big Papi's mitt. (Or Coco Crisp's bat, if you prefer.)

And after a sensational first season stateside, Hideki Okajima has reverted to the inconsistent enigma he often was during his career in Japan. This, I'm afraid, is who he is.

Oh, I realize Terry Francona's reluctance - or refusal - to use Jonathan Papelbon in tie games on the road has cost the multiple times this season, including tonight. But it's unfair to expect Papelbon to be a one-man bullpen. The days of Goose Gossage buzzsawing a lineup in three-inning bursts are gone for good.

So where does Tito turn in the eighth inning? Mike Timlin? I suspect he's cooked, though he's come back from the dead before. Javier Lopez? Doesn't throw enough strikes, among other flaws. Tom Burgmeier? Intriguing, but he is 64.

Perhaps Justin Masterson will provide a boost, though we must be reasonable: he was in Single A a little more than a year ago, and the elevated home-run rate (eight in 54 innings, and six in 106 at-bats by lefthanders) suggests he'll be something less than a savior. He'll be a very good pitcher someday, but that time may not be upon us quite yet.

Chances are the help will have to come from outside the organization, which brings me to this piece by CNN/SI's Jon Heyman and a compelling thought:

Maybe the Sox should pursue Oakland closer Huston Street.

According to Heyman, Billy Beane is willing to consider offers for the 24-year-old righthander, a somewhat curious development since the Oakland GM has a knack for unloading his big-name pitchers at the right time. There are some red flags with Street. He's something less than durable, he's not having a particularly strong season statistically (4.19 ERA, 92 ERA+, 1.16 WHIP), and who knows how he'd adjust to pitching the eighth rather than the ninth. (Silly, I know, but closers are a quirky breed, and that was Eric Gagne's excuse.)

But Street's young, proven, presumably healthy, and has historically pitched slightly better in the second half. He's considerably more appealing than the Mahays, Fuenteses, and assorted retreads who will be moved near the July 31 trade deadline. The Red Sox have incredible depth in their farm system - Theo has lived up to his brash vow to create a "player development machine" - and he easily could put together a package to entice Beane without gutting, say, the Sea Dogs.

So whaddaya say . . . is Huston Street the solution? I don't know about you, but I've seen enough from this crew. I'd have had Beane on the phone before Casey Kotchman's double hit the grass.

1. It's absurd to suggest Manny tanked that now-infamous, 1-2-3-sit at-bat against Mariano Rivera. Absurd. Not only was Manny in the early stages of one of his hot streaks (he had reached base 8 of 13 times in the series to that point, and went 11 for 22 in the following six games), but hitting is the one thing he has always taken seriously. Even when he's going well, Manny often guesses, not only at the pitch but the location, and Rivera froze him with three straight damn near unhittable cutters on the black. That wasn't tanking; it was one future Hall of Famer getting the best of another future Hall of Famer. It happens. And for what it's worth, I put the odds of a Manny return next season at 50/50, though if there really is a front-office mole conveniently leaking information to the likes of Bob Lobel, then I'll greatly lower the odds, because that would suggest to me that certain members of the Sox front office are already greasing the skids for his departure.

(Arizona State Photo)

3. I'll remember James Posey as I remember Dave Roberts: an athlete whose stay in Boston was brief, but who made a crucial, unforgettable contribution to a champion. As was the case with Roberts, who was dealt by the Sox because of his wish to play every day, I don't fault Posey for leaving. It was his last shot at legitimate NBA riches, and he took the best offer once it was obvious Danny Ainge was keeping the long-term interests of the franchise in mind and wasn't going to give him a fourth year. Posey will be missed - I don't see how they can come close to replacing him for the coming season, for he was everything you could want in a role player - but at least he left behind a season's worth of lasting memories.

4. All right, quick and supremely dorky trivia question for you . . . and believe me, this is trivial. I was killing some downtime digging through some old sports sections at work the other day (nothing ever gets thrown out around here) when I came upon a Sept. 1987 edition of the Sunday Globe. While scanning the Eastern League season-ending leaders on the Scoreboard page, it dawned on me that the pitcher who finished dead last in ERA is the only player listed in the 21-year-old piece of agate who has been on a big-league roster this season. Two hints: He never pitched in the majors for the team that owned his rights at that time, and he's not Curt Schilling. Your answer is right here.

5. I hope Jonathan Papelbon's experience with the New York tabloids and the bloodthirsty jackals at that ill-conceived All-Star parade doesn't affect his personality. While he's probably not the sharpest barb on the wire - Josh Beckett calls him a redneck, which tells you all you need to know - and he's sometimes a little too glib with the media, his affability is genuine, mostly harmless, and downright refreshing when compared to the canned, robotic responses most players of his stature offer when the cameras are on.

(MLB.com Photo)

2. James Posey wants four years? As far as I'm concerned, James Posey gets four years. I won't fault him if he ends up taking more money to join the Hornets, though. Byron Scott's smart, tough team would be an ideal fit for him.

3. Well, I think it's obvious now why few questioned Tampa Bay's decision to take Josh Hamilton over Spring, Texas phenom Josh Beckett in the 1999 MLB Draft. You know a kid has uncommon gifts when he takes off nearly four years to smoke crack, gets his life together, and somehow returns with his immense talent intact. His is a story even ESPN can't overdramatize, though bloviating Chris Berman sure tried his best.

4. With each new Melrose Place-style antic in the A-Rod divorce saga - seriously, he was spying on his wife? - I catch myself wondering how history would be different if he had ended up coming to the Red Sox in the winter of '03. For starters, there's a pretty good chance we'd be whining about a 93-year curse right about now, and it's also worth remembering that the admirable Jon Lester was the Single A pitcher the Sox were sending to Texas along with Manny in exchange for A-Rod. Sometimes the best deals . . .

5. Old friend Steve Solloway paid appropriate tribute to the Official Defunct Minor League Team of TATB with this well-written and melancholy piece on the Maine Guides. Hard to believe they've been gone 20 years. I'd also love to read Steve Buckley's take on the Guides at some point. Back in the day, he was the must-read beat writer for the Press Herald, and some of his best work still occupies a place in my keeper file.

Maybe he'll send a C-list prospect or two to San Diego for one of the Padres' countless middle relievers. Or take a flyer on someone like Cleveland's Rafael Betancourt, a quality pitcher having a horrendous year. And a stopgap at shortstop could be added to the shopping list if Jed Lowrie somehow fails to live up to Julio Lugo's high standard.

But baseball logic suggests there will be nothing approaching a blockbuster this year, no deals reminiscent of the franchise-altering swap of Nomah in '04 or even the Eric Gagne debacle of '07. Part of that is because the asking price for even mediocre "talent" is so steep (someone is going to grossly overpay for Colorado lefty Brian Fuentes), and the Red Sox are right in their reluctance to deal an asset such as Michael Bowden for an attempt at a quick fix.

Mostly, though, the Sox will likely stick with the status quo because they are in the enviable position of having potential, and possibly superior, solutions within their own organization. The idea of plugging an unproven but obvious talent such as Justin Masterson into a late-inning relief role is much more appealing and offers a potentially great reward than bringing in one retread or another. With good health and reasonable improvement in certain areas (we're looking at you, Delcarmen), the Red Sox will be a playoff team and a championship contender without any significant alterations to the roster.

Of course, that won't stop us from devouring the rumors and enjoying the daydreams, as unrealistic and illogical as some may be. The days leading up to the trade deadline are some of the most enjoyable of the season - who doesn't love good baseball gossip? So why not have some fun with a few of the names we're sure to be hearing in the coming weeks . . .

Matt Holliday: The perception is that last year's runner-up for the NL MVP could eventually be the ideal replacement for Manny in left field. While the disappointing Rockies may be proactive and trade their signature slugger now, his contract expires after next season. His agent, Scott Boras, has a knack for getting into John Henry's wallet, so it's certainly possible that Fenway will someday be his baseball home. But upon cursory inspection of Holliday's baseball-reference page, that notion isn't quite as appealing as it might seem. If your eyes didn't tell you that this guy is pretty damn good hitter, the numbers might convince you that Holliday is his generation's Dante Bichette, strictly a Coors Field creation. In his five-season career, 78 of Holliday's 117 homers have come at home, his batting average is 87 points higher (.364/.277), and his OPS is greater by nearly 300 points (1.086 to .792). At Coors, he's a Hall of Famer. On the road, he's Skip Schumacher (.792 OPS this season). I realize that argument is not without it's flaws - of course he's superior to Skip Schumacher, dummy - but the larger point remains intact: The team that pays Holliday something approaching nine figures to leave Colorado behind will be taking a mountainous risk.

Five quality pitchers on the not-so-quality 1982 Cleveland Indians:
1. Bert Blyleven (3,701 career strikeouts)
2. Rick Sutcliffe (1984 NL Cy Young winner)
3. John Denny (1983 NL Cy Young winner)
4. Ed Whitson (126 career wins and an epic beatdown of Billy Martin)
5. Rick Waits (Welcome at all 1978 Red Sox reunions)

Five members of the "offensive juggernaut" 1978 Red Sox who had an OPS+ below 100:
1. Rick Burleson (70 OPS+, .295 OBP . . . just horrendous. And he led off.)
2. Jerry Remy (81 OPS+, .321 OBP . . . how did Rice knock in 139 runs with these two out-makers supposedly setting the table?)
3. George Scott (83 OPS+, 12 homers, .305 OBP . . . this is the end, my friend.)
4. Butch Hobson (92 OPS+ . . . he was hurt, okay? Geez, back off already. We don't diss Clell around here.)
5. Jack Brohamer (65 OPS+ . . . not a regular, but he did get 244 mostly worthless at-bats.)

Five conclusions drawn from the first half of the baseball season:
1. Erik Bedard doesn't really give a bleep.
2. If Lance Berkman isn't the game's most underrated great hitter, then Chipper Jones is.
3. Hank Steinbrenner is a joint gift from the the comedy and baseball gods.
4. Josh Hamilton has as much pure talent as any player I have ever seen, with the possible exception of Junior Griffey.
5. It's just not as much fun without Papi.

Manny Ramirez: I know you can't hit anyone's decent fastball right now, let alone Mariano Rivera's humbling cutter. But I don't know, next time you're up with the go-ahead run on third in the ninth inning, could you like, at least, well . . . maybe swing or something? Rivera's always around the plate. Who knows, maybe you'll Jeter one to right field by accident. Better yet, if you see Jim Rice around, ask him what his approach was in those situations in 1989. Got it? Okay, thanks for listening, Manny. You can go back to trying to run over Jack McCormick with your Tonka trucks now.

* * *

Well, I'm convinced. Joe Maddon's resourceful and talented Rays are going to be around the rest of the summer, and perhaps beyond. Better get used to it.

Tampa Bay was the superior team in this three-game series, completely and entirely deserving of the sweep. Though I have confidence that the Red Sox will ultimately reign in the American League East (assuming David Ortiz returns to health and form), it's apparent that the patronizing, look at the cute little Rays, hanging with the big boys attitude held by many of us coming into this series was short-sighted and ill-informed.

This is a damn good baseball team, and it's a sign of their legitimacy that they've fashioned the best record in the majors (52-32) without the expected contributions from three of their top hitters. B.J. Upton has just six homers, Carlos Pena is hitting .226, and Carl Crawford has an OPS+ of 94.

Yet they keep winning because they do just about everything well. The Rays catch the ball (how about that Upton in center?), their bullpen ERA has been halved from last year's historically awful 6-point-zero-something implosion, and the quirky Maddon has fostered clubhouse camaraderie and sure seems to have them believing in themselves. Also, beating the feathers out of Coco Crisp proved to be an effective team-building exercise.

We can't praise the Rays without mentioning that Evan Longoria looks like a mortal lock for somewhere around a half-dozen All-Star appearances. He was the best player in this series, and you can see why the Rays' veterans were furious when he was shipped out in spring training. He belonged then. He's a star now.

In many ways, the Rays remind me of the '91 worst-to-first Atlanta Braves, another team that saw its young talent blossom all at once. While they're not as purely talented as the Glavine-Smoltz-Avery trio, Tampa Bay has three terrific young pitchers in Scott Kazmir, Matt Garza, and James Shields, and Andy Sonnanstine has done more than his share with nine wins.

Should the Sox feel bad about getting swept? Of course. But they shouldn't be ashamed at who swept them.

These Rays, they're one of the big boys now.

1. While the Pink Hatters' relentless shrieks when he steps to the plate can get a little annoying in an eardrum-shredding sort of way, it's been nothing but a pleasure to watch Jacoby Ellsbury in his rookie season with the Red Sox. Even with his recent struggles, there's no doubt he's going to be a star here for years to come. But anyone who thinks he, and not Tampa Bay phenom Evan Longoria, is the frontrunner for the AL Rookie of the Year award needs to start watching "Baseball Tonight" once in a while, or at least something other than NESN propaganda. While Ellsbury's batting average is a point higher (.272 to .271) and he obviously blows him away in steals, Longoria has a huge edge in homers (15 to 5), OPS (.874 to .739) and OPS+ (134 to 94), among other categories. Frankly, as much as we admire Ellsbury, the competition and comparison isn't even close. Longoria, coming off a torrid June in which he had a 1.066 OPS, is the superior rookie. I just hope he doesn't show as much in the next few days.

2. The win total (216) is low, and the ERA (3.46) is probably too high, but in the end, yes, I think Curt Schilling will get into the Hall of Fame. He was a crucial-to-heroic contributor on three World Champions, won 11 of 13 postseason decisions, and will be remembered as one of the greatest big game pitchers in the annals of the sport. Thanks to the bloody sock, he may be one of those players whose legend and legacy continue to grow. And while Schilling plays it humble and says he doesn't belong in Cooperstown, I betcha he has a rough draft of his speech already written.

3. So Carlton Fisk is now doing radio spots for "Just For Men" hair color. Funny, after seeing him at RemDawgPalooza the other night, I was pretty sure his dye of choice is Valvoline. We should all look so good at 60, though. (Wait . . . Pudge is 60? Good heavens, where did the time go?)

4. I've long thought Lance Berkman was baseball's most underrated great hitter - his most similar player according to baseballreference.com is David Ortiz - and he only enhanced my opinion of him while tormenting Sox pitching this weekend. But he does have one stat this season that caught even a longtime fan by surprise, and it's not the .363 batting average. Berkman is third on the Astros, behind burner Michael Bourn and Kaz Matsui, with 12 stolen bases. He must be a hell of a savvy baserunner, because he doesn't look like he could take a one-legged Sean Casey in a footrace.

I hope you will forgive me for this cliched sin, and I'll aim to expound on some of the comments over the weekend.

And with that half-hearted mea culpa, the grades are in, so let's get to it . . .

THE LINEUP*
(* - They've never actually used this particular lineup this season, but it seems like the ideal order if/when everyone is healthy at the same time. So there.)

Jacoby Ellsbury, OPS+ 95: In Red Sox center fielders' parlance, he's Johnny Damon with Otis Nixon's legs, and he's going to be a cornerstone here for the next decade. I still can't believe a Red Sox player is on pace for 68 stolen bases. That's usually their team total. B

Dustin Pedroia, OPS+ 98: The .334 on-base percentage isn't as high as it should be, but for the most part he's avoided the sophomore slump, and he's a hot-weather hitter who probably has his best days of the season ahead. B-

David Ortiz, OPS+ 119: The Sox have survived just fine without him so far, but man, it's just not nearly as much fun. B-

Manny Ramirez, OPS+ 134: Can't get around on the mid-90s heat like he used to, but makes up for it by being well prepared and a tremendous bad-ball hitter. We aren't heading into the last half-season of the Manny Experience, are we? Theo will pick up his option . . . right? B+

J.D. Drew, OPS+ 157: So that's the fascination. With Papi out of the lineup, his spot-on imitation of Fred Lynn '79 couldn't have come at a better time. A

Mike Lowell, OPS+ 122: He has to be one of the most successful salary dumps in baseball history, doesn't he? Didn't get his first RBI until the 34th game, now has 41. His calm professionalism has come to epitomize this team. A-

Kevin Youkilis, OPS+ 138: Incredibly versatile, incredibly valuable, and at times, incredibly annoying. A

Jason Varitek, OPS+ 83: I'm not a 'Tek apologist, but even I realize he's an asset to the team even when he's not hitting, especially when you consider few catchers do these days. C

Julio Lugo, OPS+ 90: Can't spell fielding without an F

In the meantime, I filled in as the DH today at one of my longtime favorite sites, Rich Lederer's BaseballAnalysts, and my guest column concerns a topic that is central to TATB's existence. Jenna Fischer? Lovely guess, but nope. Today, we're talking about . . . baseball cards. Do check it out for a nostalgic dose of dorkiness, and also to learn why that Steve Stroughter card always made the 12-year-old me laugh. And still does.

No, no, wait, dear, I was just kidding . . . Of course I love all of our babies equally . . . Even what's-his-name, the little pirate-looking fella with the wooden leg . . .

(NBA.com Photo)

You see, we're here today to rank our teams' six championships this decade - that's right, SIX championships - and you can bet your Loserville pennant that we're going to enjoy it.

(Editor's note: For today's purposes, we're going to pretend Super Bowl XLII never happened. Because it didn't. Thank you, TATB Management.)

So Yankees fans, you can skip out on us today and surf on over to your other favorite destination . . . what is it again, BronxChixWithMustachesTomSelleckWouldEnvy.com? Sounds right.

Lakers fans, you can stop pretending you care and again focus on your real favorite pastime: bleaching your hair, your teeth, your nostrils, your Vujacic, and whatever else happens to be the Tinseltown trend of the moment. Freaks.

And Philly fans . . . well, I don't even know where to begin with you. Moses Malone isn't walking through that door. And if he did, he'd probably drop 25 and 20 on Samuel Dalembert.

But seriously, enough about you. This is about us. So fire up the duck boats, let the confetti rain, and let's get rankin' . . .

(AP Photo)

It seems appropriate to distribute the first portion of praise to the player who has been here the longest and endured the most, the captain, Pierce. It was often said by those pushing a Laker agenda before this series that the team with the best player inevitably prevails in the Finals. Well, wouldn't you know it, that proved to be the truth . . . or should I say, The Truth. With the exception of a clunker in Game 3, Pierce thoroughly outplayed the regular season MVP, Kobe (You're No Jordan) Bryant, on both ends of the court, collecting a Finals MVP award of his own to accompany the Larry O'Brien Trophy. Celtics fans knew Pierce was complete player and a legitimate superstar long ago; now the rest of the nation does as well.

Allen took longer to win us over, but when he did it, he sure did it with flair. Tonight he hit seven of nine 3-point attempts en route to 26 points, brilliantly concluding series in which he reminded us why he is one of the most effective, efficient, and aesthetically pleasing shooters in the history of the league. Postseason success did not come easy for Allen - he agonized through a 9-for-51 slump in the early rounds that left some wondering if the 32-year-old's gas tank was on empty. To his credit, he stuck to his legendary pregame routine, literally shot his way out of the slump, and was so consistently excellent against the Lakers (a Finals-record 21 3-pointers) that he would have been a worthy MVP had the honor not gone to Pierce. Allen proved himself to be the epitome of a professional, and it has been a privilege to watch him these past two weeks.

As for Mr. Garnett, the word we used earlier today keeps returning to mind: Redemption. Never again should his fortitude in the big moments be questioned, never again should those who criticized his game be heard. It turns out Bill Russell doesn't have to give him a ring after all. Tonight, he went out and claimed his own, scoring 26 points, collecting 14 rebounds, and earning his place on the pedestal alongside the great Celtic big men of other eras. Watching him embrace Russell in the aftermath . . . well, if that doesn't make a Boston sports fan a little verklempt, then your cynical soul is beyond hopeless, my friend.

If there was any doubt about this trio's Hall of Fame credentials - and really, there shouldn't have been - it was permanently erased last night, when they combined for 69 points, 21 rebounds, and 16 assists. Appropriately, Pierce, Allen, and Garnett exited together with 4:01 left to play, spending the final moments of the season beaming through a continuous photo op and rejoicing in the ultimate team feat, something none of them could accomplish solo in their decorated careers.

And make no mistake - despite those sensational contributions of the, yes, Big Three, this was a complete team effort. So many members of the unsung supporting cast - think anyone still believes the Lakers have a superior bench? - deserve a standing ovation today.

We must start with James Posey, for he is to these Celtics what Troy Brown was to the '01 Patriots. When something absolutely, positively needed to be done during this postseason - say, drilling a 3-pointer from the corner, taking a charge on Kobe, poking away a steal in the back court, anything - he inevitably did it. He is the ultimate role player, just what every championship team needs, and there are few recent Boston athletes I've admired more.

So many others deserve a salute: Eddie House, who kept his shooting hand locked and loaded even when minutes were scarce . . . Kendrick Perkins, whose toughness and brute-force defense gave the old timers some welcome Paul Silas flashbacks . . . Rajon Rondo, the maddening but bright and gifted kid point guard who saved his best for last (21 points, 8 assists, 6 steals, 1 turnover) . . . Leon Powe, who made sure Phil Jackson learned his name . . . youthful and exuberant Big Baby Davis . . . ancient and wise P.J. Brown . . . and hell, yes, even Cassell.

Let's not overlook the two men most responsible for bringing this wonderful team together. There's Doc Rivers, the maligned coach, who demonstrated such an uncommon (and unexpected) knack for making the right choices as the stakes grew larger that one almost had to wonder if someone was whispering in his ear. Rivers, relentlessly positive and unifying, always had his players' respect, even when the seas were roughest, which tells you all you need to know about his competence.

Finally, there's Danny Ainge, the direct link from that beloved champion 22 years ago to this one, the tireless-shooting-guard-turned-tireless-GM whose savvy trades and free agent signings sparked the greatest one-season turnaround in league history. I still don't know whether the sequence of events that led to the Garnett deal was more by luck or design, but at this moment, it matters not one bit. He revived the franchise, and he cannot receive enough credit for that.

To think about where the the Celtics were 12 months ago - reeling after yet another lottery letdown, leaving its downtrodden fans muttering and desperately trying to talk themselves into believing in a pipe dream such as the raw promise of Gerald Green - well, it might just be the most improbable story of all in this remarkable (six champions!) decade of Boston sports success.

Read the words: The Boston Celtics, World Champions. At last and again.

Let the praise and the champagne flow.

1. It's not possible to exaggerate it: tonight is set up to be the defining moment of Kevin Garnett's career. A strong individual performance in a Celtics victory would secure his legacy as a champion, as the player whose arrival revived Celtics Pride, and as one of the sport's 25 to 35 all-time greatest players . . . or, should he play as poorly as he did in Game 5, it would only enhance thearguments of those who say he swallows his tongue in the biggest moments, that he'll never be a true superstar because he habitually shrivels in the spotlight. I think I've made clear over the course of this wonderful season how much Garnett his admired around here, and while I'll agree that he does make curious decisions on occasion, I believe wholeheartedly that he will deliver one of his classic 24-point, 15-rebound performances in front of the home crowd tonight. Other than watching Paul Pierce celebrate as a champion, I can't think of another angle I'll enjoy more than the KG redemption.

2. I have to admit, I didn't think the Celtics would miss Kendrick Perkins as much as they did in Game 5, and it's reassuring that he's going to try to give it a go tonight. In his absence, and with KG in foul trouble, Pau Gasol actually asserted himself, which he hasn't done since his mother tried to talk him out of wearing his sister's leotard to school in fourth grade.

3. I guess this means the advertising was effective, because I'm actually curious to see how those NBA split-screen, talking-head commercials end once the Finals are over. Gotta figure it will be Garnett's mug alone, rhapsodizing about winning a championship, followed by Pierce and Ray Allen, right? Oh, and Scal, obviously. Just as long as Larry in a tank top doesn't make another appearance, we should be cool with whatever they come up with.

4. In case you ever catch me offering fantasy baseball advice in this space again, please, remind me that I recommended and coveted these three players at the start of this season: Justin Verlander, Troy Tulowitzki, and Aaron Hill. Yikes - even Bill Bavasi wasn't that inept. I'm just grateful I didn't get any of them, and stumbled into Brandon Webb after Verlander went a few picks earlier.

I think the Celtics will win this thing tonight, and I think they will win it going away.

After the enduring Game 4's epic collapse, I just can't see any of the Lakers other than Kobe and perhaps Derek Fisher showing up for this one. Certainly a fast start by the Celtics will render the EuroSofties useless for the remainder of the night, and a fast start by the Lakers can be overcome. We saw proof of as much on ESPN Classic just last night.

To put it another way: When your season is hanging in the balance, do you really want to be relying on the marshmallow-tough likes of Pau Gasol, Sasha (Ole!) Vujacic, and Vladimir Radmanovic? No, you don't, and I don't think Phil Jackson does, either.

And while we'd all love to see a Boston team clinch a championship at home one of these seasons - wow, how greedy did that just sound? - there would be an appropriate symmetry to clinching tonight in LA.

I like the idea of Paul Pierce enjoying his career-defining, Hall of Fame-clinching moment in the city in which he was raised. And it would warm even the most cynical hearts to see Doc Rivers, who lost his dad unexpectedly earlier this season, have a moment of joy this Father's Day.

Even without the sidelined Kendrick Perkins, who apparently doesn't have Martin Riggs's ability to pop his shoulders into place and will be replaced by Leon Powe in the starting lineup tonight, the Celtics are the tougher team. They are also the superior one.

I said it in the tease, and I'll say it again. Tonight is where No. 17 happens.

FIRST QUARTER
12:00 - Celts win the tip. This one's in the bag.

11:44 - Celts turnover. Damn, those Lakers are resilient!

11:03 - Kobe hits a step-back three, and the Lakers are off to a 5-0 start. It'll be interesting to see if his teammates are permitted to shoot before he touches the ball on a particular possession. Part of the problem down the stretch for the Lakers Thursday is that Bryant didn't trust his teammates on a night when he wasn't shooting well, while conversely, his teammates were way too deferential to him.

10:45 - Dick Bavetta and Kenny Mauer. I guess Joey Crawford couldn't get off his shift at Jiffy Lube. It's a wonder Pierce hasn't fouled out yet.

9:04 - Fisher drills a three, and it's already 8-2, LA. He's one Laker you have to respect, and probably the only one on the roster who could tell Kobe to shut the hell up without having to deal with the petty repercussions.

7:49 - Rondo passes up an open layup to kick it to Pierce for a three, which he misses. I hate it when Rondo does that - it happens at least once a game.

7:01 - Gasol gets position on Powe, collects the offensive rebound, and converts a conventional 3-point play. That probably wouldn't have happened with Perkins out there, and I thought it was interesting in the pregame when Jeff Van Gundy said the Celtics will miss him more than people realize because of his defensive prowess. Of course, that's coming from someone whose ideal score is 68-66.

6:38 - Bryant for three, and it's 18-5. Good timeout by Doc. This run by the Lakers isn't surprising - they should have the adrenaline out of the gate - but the Celtics need to do all they can to keep it under control.

5:33 - Kobe drills another three, and he is not going to go quietly.

5:16 - Thirty seconds after checking in, Eddie House knocks down a three. If I'm a Lakers fan, I loathe that guy in the same way Celtics fans loathe Vujacic.

4:53 - Kobe, 3. Right now it's Bryant 14, Celtics 10.

3:07 - Strong lefty slash by Fisher, and it's apparent the Lakers' old champions have come to play tonight. No surprise there. It's the rest of the cast that will be their downfall.

2:08 - Lamar Odom steps off the side of the milk carton to lead a 4-on-2 break that culminates with his lefty layup, and it's 31-15. Says Mike Breen: "Celtics have them right where they want them." I think he was being sarcastic, but he's also right.

1:08 - Garnett picks up his second foul, a bummer since he's off to a great start with eight points, including - gasp! - a nice drop-step for two on the last possession.

:47 - Pierce has Luke Walton guarding him right now. Bill Walton has quicker feet. The Celtics need to take advantage of this.

:39.1 - Pierce draws a foul on Walton and hits two from the line. Great minds, baby . . .

:29.2 - Jordan Farmar buries a jumper, and Breen practically jumps out of his seat yelling "FARMAR!" Of course, the "I HEART JORDAN FARMAR" t-shirt he's wearing should have told us where his allegiances are tonight.

:00 - The Lakers own a 39-22 advantage after one, thanks to 65 percent shooting from the field. I'm assuming they're familiar with the law of averages after the other night. No worries yet, my friends. This will be a game yet.

Candace Parker, I agree: You couldn't pay me to watch women's basketball, either.

SECOND QUARTER
12:00 - Celtics great Chris Mihm makes an appearance! Frankly, I'm impressed he remembered to put his game shorts on.

So please join me @ 9, when, as the slogan might say, No. 17 happens.