Hey, LeBron. Welcome to the family. No, seriously.
Great to have to you on board with Fenway Sports Group, Fenway Sports Management, or whatever they’re calling themselves these days. I mean it. Ignore the haters. You have to understand, the average Red Sox fan is too dumb to understand how Fenway Sports Group works, so pay no mind to any negative reaction in New England. It’s just that the Sox are now 0-5, so yesterday was the perfect time for team ownership to announce it was getting into bed with one of sport’s notoriously reviled figures. No disrespect.
I’m sure I speak for all Red Sox fans when I say that we’re all thrilled to see how Sam Kennedy and crew can
force you down our throats market you to the fullest. It’s a shame that your PR firm in Bristol, Conn. had to lose out on the deal, but hey, it’s business, right?
It’s a good decision (no pun intended) to buy into Liverpool. After all, the football team is beating its little brother Red Sox in the apparent Facebook battle. According to Kennedy, Liverpool has more than 2 ½ times the number of fans as the Sox do. Clearly some sort of campaign needs to be jump-started locally, lest we think FSG would potentially pour more resources into the team overseas because it has a larger global reach. Of course, we would never do that. But could you do something about getting a left-back or whatever? They haven’t had a decent one over there for 12 years.
So, big day. We’re all so ecstatic that we’ll let little exchanges like this one slide.
“I am a Yankees fan,” James said. “Nothing personal; just business. Strictly business.”
Will James still be wearing Yankees caps on occasion?
“I don’t know,” James joked. “That’s up for discussion.”
What about wearing Red Sox hats.
“That’s up for discussion, too.”
It’s OK though. Even the dumbest Red Sox fan understands that the Red Sox and Liverpool brands are separate, except on NESN, Carl Crawford’s tie, and the inevitable, never-ending loop of mentions LFC will see at Fenway this season. Who cares if you’re still a Yankee fan? You’re helping run an entirely separate arm of the business. And it’s not like FSG, FSM, or whatever thinks it’s going to dare market you in a region where you’re on par with Matt Cooke and Alex Rodriguez, right? Nah, never. This will be a rousing success.
Good to see that you’ve already overtaken the FSG web site. Nice Urkel picture. If you can manage to find the link, please buy some Liverpool gear while you’re there. You’ll have to do some digging to find it, but it’ll be worth it.
What a week for Red Sox fans. They may be 0-6 at the end of the day, but their owners have made a deal with arguably the most hated man in all of sports. What is there to complain about?