Still dark smoke from Fenway

If I see one more survey, tweet, or PTI-style debate asking “Who would you pick for Red Sox manager,” I’m going to dig up every recording made of the Brady-Bledsoe month of sports radio and play them through the loudspeakers at the nearest mall.

Seriously, what is the deal here? If it’s because Bobby Valentine is in Japan, then I guess I didn’t realize that he had been in Japan for two months. If it’s because Gene Lamont…well, actually, let’s just forget Gene Lamont for a moment, shall we? Nielsen nightmare. 

Ratings must be pretty high over at NESN to keep this farce running. Stay tuned…MANAGER SEARCH. How many ways can Tom Werner package the apple or orange question though before you want to take the latter and grind it on the point of Heidi Watney’s Kathryn Tappen’s Dale Arnold’s high heel? The Red Sox really have become primarily a TV show. Who’s going to tune in to see Gene Lamont manage? Not when there’s the nightly possibility of Bobby V doing something that’ll make Don and Jerry giggle like hyenas. That’s sports-o-tainment.

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I’m not saying Valentine can’t manage, but…really? This is the next Red Sox manager? Think about the absurdity of it for a second. Do you think the owners’ primary focus in Valentine is because he’ll help take the talk show callers back from the other three teams in town, or they think he’s a brilliant baseball mind? 

It’s not like they can afford to toss away another $100 million on a new player with whom they can sell a new line of t-shirts (Have the Lackey versions made it to Nicaragua with the Patriots’ 16-0 t-shirts yet?). Might as well get a wacky manager. Soon, Red Sox baseball telecasts will be re-branded, “Happy Fun Night at the Ballpark.” Sponsored by FW Webb, of course, because nothing says “Happy Fun” like plumbing.

Coming off the worst collapse in franchise history, the Red Sox have done nothing to restore confidence. Of course the team is going to announce a new manager this week. Christmas at Fenway is but 12 days away. Who’s going to attend that thing with no real direction?

Not that there will be any when Bobby V takes the reins, but the Red Sox will try to sell you on it. That is what they do best, after all.

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Remember when it was building a competitive baseball team?