Boston’s farewell to Alex Rodriguez

We’re out of the realm of athletes now. Is there a more despicable human being than Alex Rodriguez?

According to 60 Minutes, the Yankees third baseman, who arrives in Boston Friday for a three-game series against the Red Sox, is a tattletale. We already know the guy is a cheat, liar, and a sad sack in the clutch, but now he’s also the worst kind of his like. A snitch.

Whitey Bulger. Jimmy Altieri. Alex Rodriguez. Perfect.

Hey, let’s not act surprised here. After all, ARod has always been about ARod. It is fitting though that he’ll play at Fenway tonight for the final time in his storied, phony career. He played his first game here in 1994, a game transferred to Boston when the Kingdome roof collapsed. Talk about your harbingers.

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What a waste. What a complete and utter waste. Rodriguez could have been that guy. He could have been Roger Maris, Joe Montana, Kareeb, and Pele combined. Alas, no. Spurred by rumors of his greatness, ARod went the route of his drug-enabled siblings. He could have been a contender. Now, he’s nothing less than a joke.

According to 60 Minutes, Rodriguez (Or, Mr. Rodriguez. Does the New York Times still do that?) implicated not only Ryan Braun, but his own teammate, Francisco Cervelli, in the latest drug scandal to envelop Major League Baseball under Bud Selig’s fraudulent watchful eye.

“60 Minutes” has learned that members of New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez’s inner circle in February obtained and leaked documents that implicated Milwaukee Brewers slugger Ryan Braun as well as his own Yankees teammate, catcher Francisco Cervelli, in the doping scandal that has enveloped Major League Baseball.
The leak came just days after the weekly newspaper Miami New Times published documents in January detailing Rodriguez’s pervasive use of performance enhancing drugs.
The handwritten documents of Anthony Bosch, the key witness in Major League Baseball’s PED investigation, revealed comprehensive doping regimens that Bosch had engineered for a host of professional athletes. His cooperation with MLB has resulted in the suspension of Rodriguez and 13 other major league players.

Look, Rodriguez is like the modern day Corleone, in that when you’re absolutely finished talking about him, he pulls you back in, but the man is just such a clown that it’s hard not to breakneck his every action. God bless the Yankees for having to put up with him. God bless the Yankees for being stupid enough to be stuck with him.

ARod is the kid in high school who never grew up, the sniveling slug who was always looking to sneak his way into the cool club despite his own talent. We all have our own place in life. Rodriguez’s is at the lunch table with the awkward kids approaching the age of 40.

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But hey, it’s not his fault. It’s Cervelli. Are you really surprised? Perhaps the only upset is that he didn’t name David Ortiz.

Rodriguez will be booed mercilessly this weekend, and it has little to do with the latest news. He is Enemy No. 1 in Boston because of…well, a laundry list of reasons. But if there has been a bigger tool shed in the history of the game, please present him. We have yet to witness a man this clueless and Machiavellian since Bill Simmons.

Enjoy him for the rest of this season, Red Sox fans, because ARod isn’t coming back. The 211-game suspension from Uncle Bud may or may not hold up, but it’s clear the Yankees will pull the plug in any regard. And nobody outside of the pathetic Marlins are going to pick him up.

It’s been a fun ride, us and Rodriguez though, hasn’t it? Way back in 2003, former colleague Gordon Edes relayed stories about swirling around in ARod’s limo, and on one occasion, the then-Texas Ranger stopped the car in order to take a leak behind a gas station. Sneaky until the very end.

It would be a different world, indeed had the Red Sox made the Larry Lucchino-fueled deal for Rodriguez. We’d be on 90-plus years for sure. There would be more turmoil than Bobby Valentine could dream of. The Globe’s Names section might even give a welcome day’s rest on Tom Brady and his wife in lieu of ARod’s whereabouts.

Rodriguez has denied any connection to Bosch and his clinic, and says he was never treated by him, advised by him, and that the Miami New Times documents implicating him are not legitimate.

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Also not legitimate.

Just go away, Alex. Just go away.

Nobody will miss you, and that’s the saddest part about a career that we should have talked about for decades.