10 Fake Reviews for Union Street Guest House in NY

Business background with beautiful female hands
Folks in Massachusetts and nationwide are writing fake reviews about Union Street Guest House on yelp.com.
iStockphoto.com

People are furious this week with the Union Street Guest House in Hudson, N.Y. after discovering its policy of fining guests $500 for writing negative reviews on the Internet.

Some are hopping on the company’s Facebook page to call the policy (now removed from its website) “social-media suicide.” The debacle has inspired pages and pages of negative reviews on yelp.com this week. Here is a sampling of the creative one-star reviews written by folks in Massachusetts and across the nation.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Christopher K. from Cambridge wrote this:

“My girlfriend and I stayed here over the weekend. They limited us to one poop per day or we were to be charged an “Excess Waste Fee” of $200. Had to put a cork in my ass just to save ourselves a couple Benjamins. Never, ever, again.”

Ryan L. from Saugus wrote this:

“Absolutely terrible. I was asked not to wear my spiderman costume around the lobby while asking them to pull my finger and squirting them with my silly string webbing. They also frowned upon me using the shower and getting some shut eye.... Just because it wasnt “my room”. Plus what was that family complaining about? I dried myself off before getting into the bed. The awful experience was topped off when the waiter refused to serve me my beer with the twisty straw that i requested. What kind of place doesnt have twisty straws? That was the end of it for me. I promptly stood up from the table, instantly reminded that i had tucked the table cloth into my pants as a kind of napkin and walked out dragging most of the table with me. Ill never go back.”

Francesco C. from New Jersey wrote :

“Everything about this hotel was great. Although, I forgot to give the bellhop a tip so they charged me $200. The staff was nice and polite and its a wonderful area.. but they did charge me $150 for wearing my sandals with socks, which I COMPLETELY understand. I was rushing and figured it wasn’t a big deal. Come to think of it I was charged for a lot of extras—Ordering movies from my room. $15—Food service. $25—Being left handed. $300—Speaking when not spoken to. $450—Having a sensible chuckle. $150 and because I have a long name they charged me an extra $600 ‘cause it took them longer to input my name into the computer. Above all great hotel/service!”

Gordon G. from Illinois wrote:

“I thought this would be the perfect hotel for me, since I recently caught Ebola while vacationing in Africa. Hospital quarantine was not an option as Obamacare won’t cover my expenses. So with the entire world mad at the Union Street Guest House for the $500 charge for bad reviews, I figured, this would be a cheap virtual quarantine option. Check-in was fine, even though I got strange looks for my head-to-toe thick plastic ensemble. However, the menu they presented me with charges for unruly behavior (sneezing after 3pm, wearing loafers in the lobby, etc.) really scared me! So I’m still here in my hotel room, crouched in the fetal position, just hoping I don’t break any of the rules. Minus one star because the place smells like socks. Will never stay here again unless I contact another infectious disease and require discounted quarantine.”

Dan L. from Oregon began his review like this:

“The thing I really like about the Union Street guest house are the hookers...”

Joe C. from Virginia, wrote:

“Went to sleep here with two testicles. Woke up. They gone. This place sucks.”

Dennis R. from Ohio wrote:

“I drove by the place once and they charged me $500 for not stopping. The next time, I stopped, and they charged me $1000 for breathing their air!”

Conspicuous C. in California wrote:

“First, the bedbugs. Then, the unknown gooey substance that covered the bedding. Screeching crack whores and gunfire kept me awake all night. The tip of my nose was gnawed off by a rat. To top it all off, I caught gonnorrhea from the toilet seat. It only got worse from there.”

Tiffany L. from New Jersey wrote:

“It’s all in the details! Instead of boring old toilet paper we were supplied a generous stack of organic maple leaves for number one and kiln dried pine cones for scrubbing away skid marks. Never cleaner than when you’re bloody raw. Anyone who can’t appreciate this genuine rustic experience is lucky they’re only fined $500. If it was my hotel I’d charge at least a grand.”

Ricardo V. from Pennsylvania wrote:

“ This was reallly one of the worst experiences I’ve had. Some guy shaved his pubes and threw all the hair out the window, it then got into the ducts and was fed back into the air conditioning. The hair went straight into the kitchen and fell ALL OVER THE WEDDING CAKE!!! It had to be thrown into the dumpster. All the While some guy called Stifler was trying to behave al preppy and nice to score with a really hot chick but at the end could not make it since it fed the wedding rings to a dog... In the end it all came together somewhat nicely, but the property management really did not respond in time and was basically absent and not willing to take care of things.”