CHATHAM -- Every time I hear ''Cape Cod isn't what it used to be," I want to clobber the speaker with a clam rake. While the proliferation of strip malls along Route 28 in the mid-Cape may be a modern-day intrusion, there is still plenty of old-fashioned Cape to enjoy. If you don't believe me, just go to Stage Harbor when the tide is low, the breeze is salty, and the warm sun is on your back.
''The old Cape Cod of the Patti Page song is still there," says Gale Butcher, a 50-something high school teacher who used to live near Boston but almost 20 years ago settled in Brewster. ''But you have to know where to find it."
We spend weekends here, doing nothing important but everything life-sustaining. We walk the dog, stroll downtown licking ice cream cones, take in a movie or a concert. Twenty-seven years after a honeymoon in Harwichport, we're still drawn to Cape Cod for the same reasons: its natural beauty, its slack pace, and because we feel at home here, in a breathe-easy kind of way.
If a relaxing weekend appeals to you, then plan to savor as much homespun hospitality and coastal beauty as you can. With 15 towns, lined one after another from Bourne to Provincetown, hundreds of miles of coastline from Nantucket Sound to Cape Cod Bay, and an array of cultural and sporting events scheduled now through fall, Cape Cod will be an easy place to tune into the local culture and discover its charm. Though our general haunt is the Chatham-Harwich-Brewster triangle, these tips apply all over the Cape.
For starters, avoid the malls and stay seaside. Do what the locals do: Shop in the villages and small downtowns. Eat at a chowderfest. Take in a baseball game. Rummage through a yard sale. Watch the fishing boats come into the harbor. At night, listen to the town band perform under a starry sky, and get up and dance with someone special.
At all costs, Butcher says, ''avoid Route 132 in Hyannis unless you want to feel like you're back at home."
If you want to shop, and picking up a souvenir is a must for many, head for downtown Chatham, where you might find a parking space in front of the old-fashioned Ben Franklin Variety Store, the Chatham Candy Manor, or the Mayflower Shop. You don't need a mall when this historic downtown houses one-of-a-kind shops like Yankee Ingenuity, the well-stocked Yellow Umbrella Books, and several clothing stores, galleries, and cafes, just steps from the Atlantic.
For accommodations, skip the resorts, unless you enjoy worrying about what to wear. The town has old-fashioned inns, bed-and-breakfasts, and rustic cottage colonies among the pines. The Nantucket House of Chatham, for example, a Greek Revival former sea captain's house that was floated here from Nantucket in 1867, is homey, offers a full breakfast, and has no television.
''We offer Parcheesi and other games for our guests to enjoy," innkeeper Carol Gordon says.
In the old days, vacationers didn't spend a lot of money, and you don't have to today with the many free or inexpensive activities available. Beach enthusiasts will be drawn to superb public spots, most of which offer free parking until late June.
Fans will delight in Cape Cod Baseball League games; organizers ask only for donations in return for letting you watch some of the country's best amateur players (including college players). The season opens next Thursday.
Theater lovers will enjoy the community and summer stock performances and free band concerts in several towns.
For nature enthusiasts, the Cape Cod Rail Trail offers 20 miles of trails to pedal, jog, or ride on horseback, from Route 134 in Dennis to Locust Road in Eastham.
A word about golfing: If your fantasy is to be invited, without the rumored 10-year wait, to become a member of Eastward Ho! Country Club in Chatham so you can play alongside the ocean, why not be a realist this season and enjoy the less expensive municipal courses, specifically Cranberry Valley Golf Course in Harwich and Captains in Brewster?
Also, though you may think this is a thing of the past, a drive across the Cape -- on a Sunday or on any day -- still can be a pleasure.
Going from Chatham to Brewster, for instance, will take you off Route 28 and onto Route 6A, where traveling Old King's Highway fools you into thinking not much has changed in the last century.
Open the windows and feel the wind in your hair as you pass the beautiful inns and Colonial-style buildings along Cape Cod Bay.
To truly appreciate this side of Cape Cod, get out of the car and while away a morning. The Brewster Store, with its old-fashioned candy counter, is a good starting point, as quintessentially Cape Cod as any lighthouse.
From there, go antiquing, tour the galleries, or stop in for a tour of the Cape Cod Museum of Natural History.
Fishing is another draw. In ponds and lakes, on most beaches, and from harbors all along the peninsula, anglers cast their lines in a season that stretches through October. Yankee Deep Sea Fishing Parties in Harwichport runs charters for up to six passengers.
Normally, clamming is another way to dig into local flavor, but the recent spread of red tide has put a halt to that, at least temporarily.
''The flats will be open again, perhaps in two to three weeks, and it's not a permanent condition," says Theodore Keon, director of coastal resources in Chatham.
Instead of clamming, in Chatham take in a free concert at one of the local churches, where programs have been as diverse as Caribbean music and Hyannis Sound, a male a cappella group that performs all over the Cape, from June through August.
Before heading home, be sure to watch the sun set at Ridgevale Beach off Ridgevale Road in Chatham. It's always a gift.
Marie C. Franklin can be reached at m_franklin@globe.com. 
