ASHEVILLE, N.C. -- OK, so North Carolina isn't at the top of the list when you think ''gay-friendly destinations."
But when it comes to Asheville, 10,000 lesbians can't be wrong.
That slogan, selected a few years ago by a local newspaper columnist, may be overstating the lesbian population, but you get the idea. This crunchy little town, surrounded by the beautiful peaks of the Southern Highlands, just south of the Blue Ridge Parkway and the Appalachian Trail, is a magnet for gays and lesbians drawn to a culture that doesn't just accept diversity but embraces it.
Downtown Asheville is a mixed bag of artists, tattooed grunge skateboarders, mountain music makers, longtime locals, and a visible quotient of gay business owners. For its size, this town of about 72,000 probably has the biggest gay and lesbian scene in the nation, according to John Cram, who owns three local galleries and an art movie house. Cram, who lives just outside of town with his partner, Matt Chambers, is a leader in Asheville's downtown renaissance. Like so many of the town's gay residents, he didn't plan to settle here, but the combination of gorgeous surroundings, economic opportunity, and progressive views proved hard to resist.
''Asheville is a tolerant place. There's a tradition among the mountain people to live and let live," said Cram, a Northerner who arrived in town more than 30 years ago with $500 to his name. Now he is thinking about running for city commissioner. ''The various segments of our population don't always agree, but we get along," he said.
The Dining Out for Life program, which draws on donations from restaurants in cities across North America to raise money for AIDS organizations, collected $77,000 in Asheville last year, its third year in operation there. ''It sounds cliché, but the people are so nice here," said the program's director, Harry Brown, a seasoned Atlanta fund-raiser who moved to Asheville five years ago. ''It's a very giving city."
Downtown, known for its well-preserved Art Deco architecture and lively arts scene, offers an array of coffeehouses, restaurants, galleries, and shops. Head out of town and the area is rich with rafting, mountain biking, and hiking opportunities. Figure in the many gay-owned bed-and-breakfasts and Asheville is about as gay-friendly a destination as you will find. No wonder Out magazine ranked it the hottest small US town in which to be gay.
Here are 10 reasons to visit Asheville:
Malaprop's Bookstore/Cafe. This lesbian-owned gem of an indie bookstore and cafe is a congenial gay hangout.
Make a splash. Asheville is home to natural mineral springs and the fabulous Grove Park Inn Resort & Spa, where a $75 day pass gives you access to pools, sauna, steam bath, and whirlpools built into a mountain of rock. Or head to Hot Springs, 30 miles north of Asheville, which features hot tubs fed by natural mineral springs in a wooded setting. Ask for the secluded hot tub No. 5.
Tour the Biltmore Estate. The rich really are different, as a visit to the largest home in America, George Vanderbilt's antiques-filled estate, will attest. Rumor has it that Vanderbilt's fondness for the male figure extended to more than his art collection, but his letters and papers are not open to public scrutiny.
Watch a volleyball game. On Sundays, buff teams of 30-plus gay men play volleyball at French Broad River Park just outside of town.
Snuggle up. Stay at one of the area's gay-owned B&Bs, like the Biltmore Village Inn, an 1892 Queen Anne Victorian mansion that was the home of Vanderbilt's lawyer. Now owned by partners Ripley Hotch and Owen Sullivan, the dog-friendly inn is filled with art.
Get committed. Asheville is a popular place for gay and lesbian commitment ceremonies. Try the 1889 WhiteGate Inn, with prize-winning gardens and an orchid conservatory, or Homewood, a restored 1920s stone manor in the historic Montford neighborhood. Both are gay-owned.
Dance the night away. The hot spot in town for dancing and drag shows is Scandals, but also check out the lesbian-owned Tressa's Downtown Jazz and Blues; Gypsy Moon, a loungey lesbian hangout; O'Henry's and Straps, a convivial cruise scene with a leather bar in the back; and Club Hairspray, a diverse disco that mixes up country chicks, drag kings, and disco boys on the dance floor. If it's mountain music you crave, check out the Orange Peel, for both local and national acts, and Jack of the Wood, a brewpub with a killer Wednesday-night music jam.
Travel the Blue Ridge Parkway. One of the prettiest roads in America, the parkway reaches 6,000 feet in its North Carolina section, a ribbon of road surrounded by rugged mountains and wildlife. Stop at the Folk Art Center, open year round, for craft sales, exhibits, and demonstrations.
Good eats. A few highlights of the dining scene include the Laughing Seed Cafe for inspired vegetarian food, the Market Place for locally sourced and organic new American, and Rezaz for authentic Greek and Mediterranean cuisine.
Shop till you drop. Antiques, mountain crafts, art to wear, custom-made sandals -- Asheville has it all. Don't miss the Grove Arcade, a historic public market turned mall; the gay-owned New Morning Gallery, showcasing the work of some 500 American artisans; and the lesbian-owned Blue for hand-forged jewelry.
Contact Beth D'Addono at bethdaddono@comcast.net. 
