| Talking points |
|
| Starting when children are young,
make a routine out of talking about
the day. Around the dinner table, try
FSGB (something Funny, something Sad,
something Good, something Bad), where
everyone tells a story from the day that
fits into one of those categories.
If you have a non-talker, create a ''mood box'' for each child in the family. Paint the sides of a small box four different colors, red for angry; blue, sad; black, rotten; yellow, happy. After school, each child turns the box to his or her mood as a signal to the family. This saves on sibling fights (''Did you see John's mood box? He might need some space today.'') and offers an opening for you to be supportive: ''Your mood box is blue. Something must have happened.'' If you ask a question, be satisfied with the answer. Don't endlessly add questions to it. If you have a follow-up, count to 50 before asking so you put some time between questions. Questions never to ask because they imply judgment: ''Who's the smartest kid in your class?'' ''Who got the highest grade?'' ''What did Michael get?'' ''Why did you get only a B-?'' If something bad has happened and your child doesn't want to talk about it, give him a choice: ''We can talk about it now or after dinner. You decide.'' Praise him when he gives you information. ''You are such a good reporter! I really understand what happened.'' Alternate ways to gain information: Share a journal that you leave on each other's pillow when you have something to say; talk to her friends; be in contact with teachers, coaches, other parents. By Barbara F. Meltz, Globe Staff |
 |
