Monday, June 11, 2007

OK, so maybe it was about me all along

It's exactly one year since my son did not pass -- did not even take -- the test I considered most important.

On the many nights of his senior year when I would like awake unable to sleep (I don't need to elaborate on that, right?), I created Mom's Life-Skills Test. It would be full of ordinary, every-day tasks that I feared my husband and I had somehow failed to pass on to him. He knew how to tie a tie, but could he iron a shirt? Sew on a button? Measure the detergent for a small vs large load of laundry?

This, I decided in my musings, was the perfect mom & son activity for the summer before he was leaving for college because -- tada! -- I would have to teach him these skills! As I imagined the quality time we would spend together, the list grew: I could teach him to cook one simple meal. To know which fabrics to wash in cold water, and what take-out food containers could safely go in the micro-wave. Hospital corners! Could he make a bed with nice, tight hospital corners?

I never gave the test. I floated the idea one night at dinner. He and my husband gave me one of those not-so-indulgent looks that dismissed the idea as the silliest yet of a mom whose only child was leaving for college.

The other day, I was changing drawer pulls on a dresser when a light bulb went on over my head. Surely: a life skill!

I called Eli and offered him the screwdriver. He finished the job expertly and passed the screwdriver back. A meaningful look was exchanged. It felt like closure. I guess they were right all along.

Posted by Barbara Meltz at 03:37 PM

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