| Allaying fears | |
| Accept children's worries, fears,
and questions with patience no
matter how repetitive they become.
Avoid saying, ''I told you already,'' or, ''You
don't need to worry about that.'' Instead,
validate the fear: ''That is scary,'' and offer
something concrete: ''The police in our
neighborhood are working really hard to
protect us.'' In other words, swallow your
own fears. The more you are able to help children feel safe, the more children will be able to let go of their fears. Caveats for teachers: - If you're not comfortable talking about violence in the world, don't. - If there is a conversation in your classroom, let parents know, even parents of children who didn't speak. - Don't put children on the spot by going around the room asking each to contribute. - Tell children if they want to share something with you in private, that's OK. Don't assume that the child who is the most verbal isn't scared, sad or vulnerable, or that because a child is silent, he's fine. Children who talk a brave streak or who withdraw often are the most frightened. It's typical for new fears to surface at the beginning of a school year (he suddenly doesn't want to go upstairs alone at night, she gets clingy and needy when you want to leave her room at bedtime), or for children to have a shorter fuse (he bursts into tears at the slightest reprimand). This has to do with feeling out of control as you transition from one set of routines to another. If you see several of these behaviors at once, or she exhibits them to a degree that's out of character, it's likely a sign of more than ordinary back-to-school stress. |
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