So, how are 'The Incredibles' like your family?
Walking to and from school after she saw the movie ''The Incredibles," 11-year-old Sarah Wanger of Newton decided to try walking fast. Really fast. Sometimes she even ran.
''I was surprised," she says. ''I can run faster than I think."
Sarah wasn't pretending to be Dash, the son in the animated
That's not the only message Sarah took from the movie. She and her friends have been talking about Violet, Dash's teenage sister, whose ability to make herself invisible protects not only her brother, but even super strong dad, Bob Parr, aka Mr. Incredible, and mom, Helen, who has magical elastic limbs.
''Violet was more self-confident after she saw how important she could be to her family," Sarah says. ''We've been talking about how we could be sort of like that."
That an animated movie about a family with superpowers could generate so much meaty food for thought for preteens is, well, incredible. Given how popular the movie is, and with many more children likely to see it this long holiday weekend, we asked four professionals who work with children to watch it, too. They were happy to do so.
''All the children I know are talking about it," including 5-year-olds, says child psychiatrist and author Stanley Greenspan of Bethesda, Md. After viewing it, he called it ''one of the better [movies] for kids," ranking it alongside two of his favorites, ''The Lion King" and ''Little Mermaid."
He particularly likes the movie's potential to stir the imagination. That's a quality he finds missing in most children's movies, but it's something all children need if they are to reach high levels of critical thinking.
''Whenever [children] see a movie, they identify with something in it," he says. ''If it's a very concrete and literal movie, there's not much they can do other than mimic the characters or re-enact the plot. This movie, like a good book, enables them to go beyond that, to build on the characters and the magical powers and put the themes to work in their own settings." Greenspan's newest book is ''The First Idea, How Symbols, Language and Intelligence Evolve from Our Primate Ancestors to Modern Humans" (Da Capo/Perseus).
To be sure, the Parental Guidance rating is there for a reason; the violence could scare any temperamentally sensitive child,whether he's 4 or 8. One seasoned 5-year-old moviegoer, Jalen Green of Revere, conceded to ''hiding eyes" during a scene where the family is held captive by bad guy Syndrome. The sound level is so loud that educator Janet Zeller, director of the Tufts University Educational Day Care Center, asked themanager if it was broken.
''Little kids will be frightened by the noise," she predicts, and says the movie is not for children under 5.
Beyond that, the movie is full of pleasant surprises. Perhaps the nicest of all is the warm, wise, caring way in which the parents are presented. In a pop culture that often portrays parents as adversaries (and stupid, uncool ones at that), ''The Incredibles" is likely to leave children and parents with an expansive feeling about their own family. Don't be surprised if the 11-year-old son who never holds your hand anymore reaches for it as you walk to the car.
What else your child takes from it will depend on his or her stage of development:
Five- to 7-year-olds are most likely to focus on the magical powers because they themselves are not very powerful. ''Young kids lust after power, after being the -e-s-t in anything," says Zeller, who predicts a season of fast running on playgrounds nationwide.
It won't be lost on them that the Parrs use their powers to help each other. Indeed, perhaps the most enduring image from the movie is Helen's elastic arms reaching across a great distance to pluck her family out of danger and hold them safely in her embrace. ''All children wish for that sense of being held securely by their parents," says Manhattan child and family psychologist Ron Taffel. He is author of ''Nurturing Good Children Now" (St. Martin's).
Eight- to 11-year-olds are likely to take away messages about the connections among family members and how devotion to each other strengthens them as individuals and as a unit. Taffel speculates preteen girls will identify with Violet, just as Sarah Wagner does. ''Feeling invisible and not having a voice is common [for girls this age]," he says. They will appreciate the imagery of Violet's force field protecting her family.
Children 12 and older, and maybe some younger, will be able to connect the dots between Syndrome's hurt and rejection as a young boy to his aggression as an adult. Brookline child and family psychologist Sharon Gordetsky says this is as important a message for parents as it is for teens. ''We know that aggression is a defense against feeling hurt. If parents are attuned to that in their own kids, the hurt is less likely to manifest itself later in aggressive behavior or depression." She says all it takes is for parents to validate hurt feelings when you see them: 'It's OK to feel hurt. It's OK to feel sad,' and then help a child to move on.
It's hard for a child of any age to miss the theme of tolerance for differences. When Helen says to Dash, ''It's OK to be different," Gordetsky wanted to cheer. ''In our society, kids with special talents often have to pretend they don't have them because the talents aren't viewed as cool," she says.
The younger children are when they learn to celebrate differences, the emotionally healthier they will be, says Zeller, whose preschool is known for its strength in this area. For instance, teachers create ''Yellow Pages," listing everybody as an expert at something. When a classmate has a question about, say, T-Rex, the teacher might look in the book and steer her to the dinosaur ''expert."
With so many messages, a parent may feel compelled to talk about them. Be careful. Nothing will take the fun out of the movie quicker than lecturing on its virtues or turning it into a lesson.
Taffel's advice is to listen to what your children say, to say honestly what the movie meant to you, but not to force a conversation or prolong one. A child is far more likely to talk if a parent makes a connection to the movie because there's a reason to, even if it's three days later: ''I notice you've been running a lot faster. It makes me think about Dash." On the other hand, open-ended questions may spark an interesting discussion. Some night at dinner, Gordetsky might ask, ''Do you think our family would be as brave as Mr. Incredible's?" ''If you could have a magical power, what would it be?"
There's something else these professionals urge parents to resist: ''Mr. Incredible" products and toys that are being marketed for the holidays.
''The more gimmicks toys have, the more they talk or are computerized, the less good they are for play," says Greenspan.
That humanity is part of what makes Mr. Incredible so endearing in the movie. As a toy, he needs more imagination.
Contact Barbara Meltz at meltz@globe.com. 