Spotty fashion sense

Whenever my fashionista friend Jen -- she's every bit as polished as Posh -- mentions a piece of clothing she likes, I pay attention. So, when she said she'd found the perfect fall jeans at Urban Outfitters, I couldn't wait to click on the link.

Until these forever tarnished my screen:

[Don't worry, Stylephilers, she was absolutely kidding!]

Yes, for $68, you too can dress like the Leopard Empress of Stretchland. Ick. I had a pair of actual stirrup pants in this pattern (in purple) when I was five. I mean, it looks like Lisa Frank -- of Trapper Keeper and school supply fame -- designed this ill-fitting mess.

This fall, you can wear a variety of denim styles -- wide leg, high waist, skinny leg, even gray and chocolate brown hues -- and still be very much in fashion. Leave the suction-tight "Welcome to the Jungle" leggings to David Lee Roth. Please and thank you.

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