Tuesday, January 31, 2006

A Boyfriend's Sexual Identity In Question

At A Loss writes:

I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months. Things were going great until he told me that he thinks he may be bisexual. He claims that he has never had a relationship with another guy before, but he feels conflicted because he is attracted to a recently hired male co-worker. My question is, where does this leave me, how do I handle such a convoluted situation?

Dear At A Loss:

This is one of those situations where the ball is not really in your court, but rather in your boyfriend's. I don't think he should be involved in a serious relationship until he comes to grips with his sexuality, because until he does, you or any other of his potential mates, male or female, run the risk of getting hurt. It's up to you whether you want to put yourself in a sort of relationship holding pattern until he figures things out. If you do decide to go this route, you give yourself the option of resuming things with him at some point hopefully not too far down the road should he come back to you and say, you know what, I've had some time to really think things through, and I now know beyond any doubt you're the one I want to be with, period. There are no guarantees, however, that this would in fact be the hoped for outcome to make your patience and understanding worth the wait, particularly regarding someone whom you've known for a matter of months.