Relationships

This One's For Angel

Dear Angel:

Perhaps he hasn't gotten back to you yet via email because being a trucker he might very well be on the road and is unable to contact you. If this is the case, hopefully he'll respond to you as soon as he is able to do so. On the other hand, and this is just to be realistic, if too much more time goes by without him responding, I wonder if he's worth the wait?

To Delay Or Not To Delay An Engagement Announcement?

Wedding Rivalry writes:

We have a son, who is 34 years old, engaged to be married to a 29 year old woman. They plan to be married on June 10, 2006. Our son delayed his marriage proposal to his fiance for a month, because of her brother's wedding in September, 2005. Our son did not want to detract attention from her brother's wedding. Now, his sister, who is 36 years old, is about to be engaged to a man, who is 39 years old. Should she delay her engagement announcement until after her brother's wedding? Or, on the other hand, should the announcement be delayed at all? Our son and his fiance are upset over his sister's impending announcement of her engagement before he gets married. He and his fiance strongly feel it will diminish the attention that she deserves as a bride. HELP!

Dear Wedding Rivalry:

Ordinarily I would say that your daughter's engagement announcement would only enhance rather than detract from the excitement surrounding your son's planned June wedding by providing it with an added layer of celebration. However, given how strongly he and his fiance feel about the announcement's diminishing their own moment in the matrimonial spotlight--and strictly from a priority point a view, it would seem that an actual wedding takes precedence over an engagement--I think perhaps it would be best if your daughter accommodates the wishes of her brother on this one by temporarily delaying the announcement.

Just Ask Him

Wond'ring Aloud writes:

I don't think I'm imagining him liking me either. He has said things to me and his actions when I'm around all point to the fact that he does. But wouldn't you figure he would call if he really was interested?

Dear Wond'ring Aloud:

Here's what I think: Rather than driving yourself crazy, call him, text message him, email him, fax him, whatever, just contact him with a straight to the point message, something along the lines of, "I really enjoy spending time with you, and would like to go out with you, how about it?" Up until now, all you've been doing is sending him these vague, neither here nor there messages--which by your own admission really don't warrant a response--hence his not getting back to you. Further, the last time he did ask you to be with him, to watch the Super Bowl, you kind of turned him down. To recap, then: When it comes to the does he like me/does he not quandry, there's no better way of finding out then by being direct. Good luck!

What To Send A Guy On Valentine's Day

Rapunzel41 writes:

Do you think guys would be weirded out or embarrassed to receive a V-Day gift like that at work?

Dear Rapuzel41:

Yes, absolutely. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that on V-Day a woman should never consider sending the man in her life a certain something to show her love. But if you're talking about sending it to him where he works, it should be understated, and certainly not a big floral or edible arrangement. As an alternative, and far more likely to put a smile on his face, how about sending him a couple of Bruins or Celtics tickets in oh, I don't know, a red envelope perhaps? Just a thought.

Valentine's Day Blues

Jesse writes:

Valentines day is the worst day of my life every single year. I'm an 18 year old male, and ever year I watch other people receive their valentines and just sigh. I have never been in a relationship, let alone even receive a valentine from anyone other than my mother or the kids that give them to everyone in the class in like 3rd grade. Am I just a lost cause who is meant not to find love, or am I just waiting longer than most people for something great? I'd love some advice about how I can be more proactive about my problem.

Dear Jessie:

First off, Jessie, if it's any comfort, you are hardly alone in finding yourself sort of on the outside of the dating world, looking in longingly at all those who have a significant other in their lives and are seemingly very much in love. In fact, you'd be quite surprised at just how many people there are out there who are unattached (I hate to refer to Dr. Phil here, but he interviewed Paula Abdul on tv the other night, and she literally broke down about how she--a super rich, successful and beautiful woman--can't seem to find a man. I mean, she was literally in tears about it).

But enough about the whole misery loves company thing. It's obviously bothering you that you don't have someone in your life right now. And, no, you are certainly not a lost cause relationship wise at all of 18-years-old. I don't know what you're social life is like, but I think it's fair to say that if you want to start dating, you need to put yourself out there so as to position yourself to meet people. If you are uncomfortable goint out by yourself to clubs and such, I suggest you work on going out on a regular basis and having a good time amongst a group of your friends. Being with people you're already comfortable with in social settings can go a long way toward boosting your self confidence to a point where you'll soon become more outgoing and approachable than perhaps you've previously been in such situations. In turn, yow will most assuredly find great opportunities for making the kind of love connections that have heretofore eluded you.

Cheating On Valentine's Day? - Better Be Careful

There was quite an interesting article in of all places the Wall Street Journal last week regarding the undeniable spike in cheating that happens on Valentine's Day. According to the article, V-Day is the one day out of the year when it is pretty much expected that anyone involved in a relationship will do something romantic for a spouse or lover. Here's where the cheating part comes in: Let's say your husband or boyfriend has another lover on the side. On V- Day, the great likelihood is that he will try and find some way to either spend time with this other person or, at the very least, buy her a gift (choclates, flowers, etc.), expressive of his love.

A number of private detective agencies cited in the article say that on a typical V-Day they will handle as many as five "infidelity investigations." Irene Smith of Discreet Investigations in Goldon, Colo., claims that business at her agency sometimes doubles--to nearly 12 cases--on V-Day, adding, "If anything is going to happen (cheating wise), it will happen on that day." On average, the cost for an investigation of an unfaithful lover is about $95.00 an hour.

One agency detective describes an investigation requested by doctor whose suspicions were aroused when his wife--also a doctor--told him she would be changing her regularly scheduled daytime shift this V-Day and would instead be working until 8 p.m. Yet another detective from a different agency says he will be following an attorney this V-Day after he was hired by the attorney's wife, who doesn't believe his story about having to cancel their annual V-Day lunch together because he'll have to be in court instead. (The wife, also an attorney, apparently knows that her husband always gets a lunch break in court, regardless of his case load.)

The lesson, then, to all you potential V-Day cheaters is be careful, this year someone just may be watching you.