Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A Man Of Few Words

He’s a 28-year old handsome guy, single (at least he says so). We’ve been seeing each other for 3 months. Nearly from our first meeting I hear from him things like: “I walk slowly – so get used to it” or “I never eat cold food – remember it” or “You need 7 hours of sleep a day? I wonder how you, my poor girl, are going to sleep your fill?” – and so on and so forth. Every time when we talk, he ends up our conversation with “Say hi to your mom!” though he’s never met her. He seems to be one of those guys who doesn’t like talking about his feelings and his life. And why should he? He prefers asking me about mine, sending text messages like “Do you love me?” or “I know that you love me”. And when I’m trying to figure out what his heart tells him about me, he says that he knows what he feels and that I should better try to make out my own feelings. We don’t see each other often and - too sad- I don’t know much of him, I do want to, but he doesn’t want to talk about his life (or maybe he’s hiding something ?). As I’ve already mentioned, we don’t see each other often. He says he’s busy working. When I ask him if there is really lack of time or there is something or somebody else, he says categorically it’s the first variant. On the other hand when I tell him if he’s not interested in me or has another girlfriend he can just tell me about it and I leave - but he doesn’t let me go. The other day being angry I sent him a text message saying it’s all over between us- he didn’t take it seriously! We haven’t had sex yet/ Actually I’m still a virgin (I'm 23 and as they say – pretty). He knows about it. He doesn’t see anything wrong in it, he says it’s just my way, although something definitely should be done about it.

Waiting for your reply.

Dear Maya:

In sounds like things are pretty much up to you at this point as far as continuing to see this guy--he is obviously not in a rush to leave you. The question then becomes, is he worth it? I say this because from your letter I take it that you really want to get to know him for who he really is even though this may ultimately prove rather difficult because: a. he apparently has a tendency to speak in aphorisms and b. even when he does, he is clearly a man of few words, who may never in fact feel comfortable opening up to you. In deciding want you want to do, keep in mind that at 23, you are still relatively young, and have many dating/relationship experiences ahead of you. In other words, it's not like this is necessarily the "be all and all" guy for you. As for your virginity, this is a matter of personal choice, one which you should never feel pressured to change according to anyone else's dictates but your own.