Wednesday, February 1, 2006

A Long Ago Love

Angel writes:

Back when I was 16 I met a guy who was 19. Now i´m 33 and he´s 36. He was my first boyfreind and my first big love. I decided to look (search) for him on the Internet. But after three years of looking and searching. I left my e-mail address on every site that I could think of, hoping that one day he would find it and write me. And at the begining of this year, He had found me and written me! I was really happy and glad to have heard from him after 15 years. Back then he broke up with me. Even though he wrote me (and still does, once in awhile) I am wondering why he did decide to write me after all these years. We talked about a few things, from then and now but, he hasn't mentioned that he is married and maybe has children (which I believe to be the case). Why isn't he straight forward about that? And how should this all continue? How should I act!? Might he still have some feelings for me? I´m confused!? could you please help me!? Thank you!

Dear Angel:

Thanks, Angel, for getting back to me with the additional info that I requested about your situation. I have to say that even though you dated this guy, that was several years ago, when you were both teenagers. Now, each of you is an adult, entirely different from who you were way back then. I think he wrote you after all these years because he was genuinely interested in touching base with you, especially since you took the time to try and track him down online. But this certainly doesn't mean that he now wants to suddenly pick up right where he left off with you, and resume the relationship. As for his possibly having a wife and children, he is under no obligation to delve into this area as there is presently no romantic connection with you. Your former boyfriend very likely has fond memories of the teenage courtship the two of you shared , and it's great that you were able to reconnect with him. I think, however, that's as far as it goes. He has moved on, I suggest you do the same--trying to relive something from your past will only prevent you from living your life to the fullest today.