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« Will He Still Be There For Her? | Main | Dealing With The Competition » Tuesday, February 7, 2006Stop Worrying, You Did Just FineGizzmo0411 writes: Hi everyone...I'm new here...but been reading for a long time...Looking for some advice (not living in Boston, just from there). I'm a 23 year old guy, in the military. I had been with a girl for 6 years, starting in high school, through college, ending about 7 months ago. I've been in a place where I have met a few people since but they were unquestionably rebounds. And only lasted a few weeks. So I stopped myself from doing that, and took about 4 months to learn to be on my own for a while. Recently I met a girl through a friend. But the odd part of it, for me at least, is that I was only able to talk to her online. So for about three weeks we talked online, seemed to get along great, lots in common...etc...etc. So we set up a plan to meet this past weekend. She lives about 1.5 hours away, she's in college and works so planning to meet is a bit of a task. Anyhow...we went to a party for a friend of hers who was turning 21. Neither of us are big partiers, and the situation turned out to be a tad awkward. I wasn't able to keep up a conversation due to the fact that her friends were around and the music was so loud. So it was kind of difficult to do the "date" thing. However, we agreed to meet for lunch the following day (yesterday) and take the time to do an actual DATE date. I had a great time. She turned out to be a really sweet girl, just what I'm looking for. I picked her up, brought flowers (hope that wasn't a wierd thing to do), and we went to Chili's for a relaxed lunch. Talked about lots of stuff for a few hours, then I dropped her off at her place (she had work to get done) and I had some friends coming over to watch the superbowl. She left it with a hug, and an I'll talk to you soon. Now since I've been in a cave (figuratively) for the past 6 years, and have almost no mature dating experience. I worry that I was too hands off, or that I gave her the impression that I was overly cautious about being with her. And I just hope that I didn't turn her off... That's the background. I'm a pretty straightforward guy, I don't like games and all that. And I don't think talking online is quite appropriate if you REALLY like someone. So my question is this. When do I call her? Can I tell her I like her and would like to do it again? How do I play it now?? Thanks in advance for the advice! You know what she thinks, Gizzmo? If she has even an ounce of common sense, she more than likely is saying to herself right now: Wow, what a great guy I just met! I mean if everything you write in your letter is true, you really hit this one out of the park, including the whole flowers thing (which, far from being weird--why in the world would you think that??--was right on the money for a first date with a sweet girl). The operative phrase here is FIRST DATE. It sounds like you went into it by putting a lot of undue pressure on yourself, but that's okay, first dates are often nervewracking. And, again, I think you handled things just fine. Now, get on that phone, and give her a buzz so you can make arrangements for that all important second date--she's probably waiting for your call even as we speak. Posted by Movable Type Administrator at 10:15 AM
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