NikkiML8

Well, I have been in a relationship with a guy for almost a year. Things were very good for a long time. He is very thoughtful. We have many similarities but also many differences. However, the last few months have been tough. We argued alot. Not about concrete things, but little things. These fights were stupid really.

Well, after another argument on Superbowl Sunday, we mutually decided that we would take 5 days off. We wouldn't see or talk to each other. And in that time we would each make a list of things that we wanted to change. It was a good idea and a needed break to realize what we appreciate. Well, 5 days later we get together, we decided to do lunch and just have fun before we read the lists. We had a GREAT time. It was so good to see each other. He was so sweet. Then, we stopped and got some stuff to make a few drinks. One drink turned into 4 and I became very drunk. We were having so much fun though. Then the last thing I remember is going into my room to read the lists (BIG MISTAKE). I vaguely remember fighting and being absolutely emotional and out of control. I was probably rude and didn't agree with his list. I really, truly don't remember what I did or said, but it must have been bad.

I called him up the next morning to apologize. He was very upset. He said i was out of control and that this just wasn't working now. We fight too much. I think i was more upset that I didn't even remember officially breaking up. I was confused and heartbroken. I didn't want to accept it. He got angry and said that i was being selfish and not thinking of how HE felt. He was right. He said he needed to go and hung up.

I knew then that I really shouldn't call him again after that. He was heated. I needed to let him cool down and call me when he was ready to talk. ( Quick history...he always said to me that he loved me and could picture me in his life forever. He also said that he could see us breaking up for a while and then getting back together and spending the rest of our lives together.)

After that day, I was heartbroken. I wanted him to call me. I talked to my father about it and he tried to explain to me that he needed time. I really didn't listen and continued to voice my problem. My father got mad and said "Nikki, you need to listen more and talk less. You can't always think you know what people are going to say before they say it. Just listen." At that moment, i had an epiphany because that is EXACTLY what my boyfriend would say when we fought. Whenever we would make up I always apologized but never really knew what I had done wrong. Now I knew that I really had a problem listening. I do this to my family as well. I'm the youngest so I guess i've been a little spoiled and never really had much respect. I have since apologized to my family for being this way. Wtih my boyfriend, I was very selfish and only wanted my opinion heard and rarely let him speak. It was always his fault.