Readers Say

‘No More Mr. Ice Guy’: Here’s what Boston.com readers say we should name the new state snowplows

"Plows to the left of me! Snowdrifts to my right! Here I am, stuck in a blizzard with you!"

Here they come! AP Photo/Steven Senne

By Peter Chianca

There are certain situations when you know you can count on Boston.com readers to come through. And now you can add coming up with goofy names for snowplows to that list.

SNOW PROBLEM:

You’ll recall that the Massachusetts Department of Transportation is asking the schoolchildren of Massachusetts to name 12 new state-owned snowplows that will be helping to clear the streets this winter. But we thought our readers might have their own ideas of what might be appropriate to call the mammoth snow removers, and it turns out we were right.

Granted, any number of these might have been swiped from other sources. (Say, from Scotland, which has apparently been naming its snowplows for years, or “The Simpsons,” which inspired several references to Homer’s legendary snowplowing service, “Mr. Plow.”) And not all results were entirely original — Plowy McPlowface, in reference to Britain’s infamous Boaty McBoatface incident of 2016, was by far the most popular response. (Kudos to the readers who did manage something of a unique spin on that, such as with “Snowy McSnowface” and “Flakey McPlowboy.”)

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But for the most part, the more than 800 responses we got to our original survey and our Instagram and Facebook posts were *chef’s kiss* quality. And some readers even provided surprisingly thoughtful explanations as to their snowy brainstorms. Or would that be brainy snowstorms?

Take Doug A. of MetroWest, who suggested the name “Just Scraping By”: “In addition to an apt description of a plow truck making its way down the street, the name pays homage to a blue collar ethos — with an emphasis on just keeping one’s head above water in these tough economic times,” Doug explains. Like the snowdrifts after the Blizzard of ’78, that’s pretty deep.

Or Ernie G. of Bondsville, Mass. (out near Springfield), who explained his thought process as to why a plow should be named “3 a.m. Alarm Clock.” “OH C’MON!!!,” declared Ernie (caps his). “I GOTTA GET UP IN TWO HOURS … never gonna get back to sleep. [looks out the window] REALLY?!??!? YOU COULDNT’VE PUSHED THAT 4-FOOT PILE TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET?!?!? NOOOO, YOU GOTTA PUSH IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DRIVEWAY. Guess I’ll get up now and start shoveling…” There’s practically a whole novel in there.

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So numerous and clever were the responses that we decided to break them down into three categories: “Most liked” from our Instagram post; best Boston-related names; and the best plow puns, plus a long list of honorable mentions. We think you’ll be satisfied with the results, which prompted none other than Newton native and “The Office” star B.J. Novak to declare on Instagram, “I support all these names.”

Or, as Cameron L. commented on Facebook: “Plows to the left of me! Snowdrifts to my right! Here I am, stuck in a blizzard with you!”

Stuck in an igloo with you? – Lane Turner/Globe Staff

Top 10 most-liked on Instagram:

  1. “No More Mr. Ice Guy” — bttrluxnxttime
  2. “Sleet Caroline” — jcspencer320
  3. “Ctrl-Salt-Delete” — eishaschen
  4. “Plow Zedong” — freshhdonuts
  5. “Buzz Iceclear” — bttrluxnxttime
  6. “The Spirit of ’78” — christclary
  7. “Lil’ Plow Wow” — freshhdonuts
  8. “Abolish ICE” — daveharrisonmd
  9. “Clam Powder” — kylietubero
  10. “Donnie Wahlplow” — freshhdonuts

Best Boston- and Boston sports-related names:

  1. “Light Dustin’ Pedroia” — alclunnie
  2. “Ice Chippin’ Up to Boston” — Daniel, Somerville 
  3. “Nomar GarciaPlowa”  — stephanielcarty (Runner up: “Nomar Cantseeyacahpahked” — metsperry)
  4. “Xander Snowgaerts” — mlynch1090 
  5. “Plah Ya Snah In Hahvahd Yahd” — Rob F., Bedford 
  6. “Pruden-chill Center” — katherineeminer
  7. “Drew Bledsnow” — metsperry 
  8. “Slopkick Murphy” — ciaranhedderman
  9. “Patrice Brrrrrr-geron” — evan_guarino 
  10. “Whitey Bulger” — nikkidelsignore

Best plow puns:

  1. “The Big LePlowski” — Ms. Leontie’s Class, Kingston
  2. “De-ice Man Cometh” — akudan
  3. “Catherine Sleeta-Jones” — erinelifos
  4. “Snow Laughing Matter” — HA B., Foxboro
  5. “Snow Rogan” — Danny M.
  6. “Gordy Plow” — Laura B.
  7. “Oh Snow You Didn’t” — DT C., Stow
  8. “People Have the Plower” — Melissa R., Somerville
  9. “Well En-Plowed” — nateskateboard
  10. “Ploward Stern” — shannyfitz3412

Honorable Mentions:

  • Boom Chicka Plow Wow
  • Bridge Banger
  • Bruschi
  • Chowda My Way
  • Clean Sweep
  • Dunkin’
  • Edward Snow Done
  • Fenway
  • Flakey McPlowboy
  • Frosty Scoops
  • Good Will Plowing
  • GronkPlowSki
  • How Now Brown Plow
  • Iced Dunks
  • Jack Edwards
  • Jon Snow Plow
  • Just Scraping By
  • Mailbox Masher
  • Mass-tah of Disas-tah
  • Mayflower Plower
  • No Biz Like Snow Biz
  • Plowasaurus Rex
  • Plowdah Puff
  • Plower Move
  • Plowie Mandel
  • Plowington
  • Plowmageddon
  • Roadrunner
  • Salt Whitman
  • Salty McPaintChipper
  • Sir Plowalot
  • Snow Cone
  • Snow Job
  • Sparky
  • The Big Dig-Out
  • The Big Push Over
  • The Blade Runner
  • The DePlowted
  • Tuck Rule 12

Parting shot:

“If one of them isn’t named ‘your mom,’ I will be disappointed.” — Donald M., Facebook 

Boston.com occasionally interacts with readers by conducting informal polls and surveys. These results should be read as an unscientific gauge of readers’ opinion.