Readers Say

The unwritten rules for living in Boston, according to readers

"Visit all the tourist traps once. But never confess that you did."

Fans in full Red Sox gear fill an escalator during Red Sox Winter Weekend. Ken McGagh/The Boston Globe

February 15, 2024

Life is full of unspoken rules — actions and mannerisms that shouldn’t always have to be explained. Everybody is expected to innately know and follow these rules, but sometimes, to the annoyance of others, they can go unnoticed.

We asked readers to share their unwritten rules for Boston, and over 80 shared their thoughts, on how people should act — mostly on the roads, subways, and crosswalks. James C. in Falmouth shared a funny tip. “Visit all the tourist traps once. But never confess that you did,” he said.

Scroll down to see the rules that readers believe are worth internalizing and adopting as part your behavior in the Boston area.

Some quotes have been lightly edited for length and clarity.

1. Don’t mess with space savers

“Don’t move a chair/object from a shoveled parking spot, which you did not shovel and mark yourself, and park there yourself.” — Rose, Allston

“Never, ever park in a spot someone else shoveled out.” — Rich, Newton

“Dig out a parking space and leave a chair, that’s your space until the snow melts.” — Marco, Somerville

2. Don’t be the annoying person on the sidewalk

“Don’t have your group span the whole sidewalk and walk slower than molasses. Keep it movin’, pal.” — Omar, Dorchester

“You don’t have [to] know where you’re going, but you do have to stay out of my way.” — Emily A., Somerville

“When walking toward someone on the sidewalk move to the right. Just like driving a car.” — Maggie, Charlestown

3. Be a respectful MBTA rider

6 golden rules for riding the MBTA

“T riders should always let riders off of a train before boarding.” — RC, Belmont

“Take off your backpack on the T at rush hour.” — Chris, East Boston

“Wear headphones on public transportation.” — A Boston.com reader

“When on the T, if seated and you see an elderly or pregnant person, you stand up and offer them your seat. With all the negative things about the T, this still happens and shows the civility of most passengers.” — John, Dorchester

4. Food and drink is taken very seriously in Boston

“When someone asks you whether Mike’s Pastry or Modern Pastry is better, the correct answer is Bova’s.” — Will, Brockton

“If you order a tonic you mean you want a soda, not tonic water.” — Michelle B., Haverhill

How to order coffee like a Bostonian, according to readers

“It’s a grinder. Not a sub. Not a hoagie. Grinder. Get it right.” — Suchi M., Dunstable

“Grabbing coffee? (not a fancy latte, just coffee) Know the lingo! A ‘regular’ means cream and sugar, and does NOT refer to the size. Ex: ‘I’ll have a large regular.’ Translation: ‘I’ll have a large coffee with cream and sugar.’ This can also be used for iced drinks. Ex: ‘I’ll have an XL iced Regular because I’m Ben Affleck’s long-lost cousin.’ (Okay, not true, but you get the picture.)” — Gwen K. Brighton

5. Some things are better left unsaid

“Unless your were born in Boston and grew up in Boston, you are not from Boston. Cambridge is not Boston. Quincy is not Boston. Maynard is not Boston. Worcester is not Boston. Springfield is not Boston. Foxboro is not Boston.” — Bill, Boston

“Never say Cod. It is simply ‘The Cape.'” — JC, Foxboro

“Never call Boston ‘Beantown.'” — William L., Belmont

“Never call it ‘Beantown.’ Never ask where the border between [Jamaica Plain] and West Roxbury or Roslindale or any other neighborhood lies. Don’t call ‘em ‘sprinkles.’ It’s BU or BC — never ‘Boston University’ or ‘Boston College.'” — Michael S., Dublin

6. There’s only one right way of crossing the street

“Jaywalking is the way. If it’s clear, run across. Cars can’t move in the city anyways.” — Eric, Salem

“The ‘Don’t Walk’ light at an intersection is merely a suggestion.” — Tom, Fenway

“Not waiting for the lights to change before crossing the street. I can always identify a native Bostonian by their lack of paying attention to pedestrian crossing lights!” — Maureen J., Weymouth

“We walk across any road we want, wherever we want, whenever we want, and traffic shall yield.” — Rob, Hopkinton

7. Know the rules of the road

“Yield at the rotary, unless you can beat the guy with the right of way.” — Joe G., Waltham

“The left lane on 93, 95, 495 and other highways is the passing lane. It’s NOT the sightseeing lane, the learning to drive lane, the slow and lumbering RV lane or the too scared to go the speed limit lane. And those signs with the NO circle over a picture of a truck? That means no trucks in the lane, ever.” — Ron H., Salisbury

“You are expected to run the light if it just turned red. That is NOT a thing in other states.” — Becky R., Beverly

“Whoever is driving the fastest or has the oldest, most dinged up vehicle has the right of way in the rotary (no, it’s not round-a-bout or traffic circle)” — B

“If something minor happens in traffic, overreact wildly beeping at or flipping off the other person.” — A Boston.com reader