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What would you really want to name a Massachusetts snowplow?

MassDOT is running a contest to name 12 members of its plow fleet. Got any ideas?

Snowplows (most likely unnamed) make their way along Boylston Street during a 2017 storm. Keith Bedford/Globe Staff

Apparently undeterred by the spotty history of such initiatives, the Massachusetts Department of Transportation is bravely asking the schoolchildren of Massachusetts, who are not known for their restraint or decorum, to name 12 state-owned snowplows that will be clearing the streets this winter season.

And by “spotty history,” we’re obviously referring primarily to the Boaty McBoatface incident of 2016, when the British government left it up to the Internet to name a $287 million polar research ship, and the jokingly suggested “R.S.S. Boaty McBoatface” moniker was the runaway favorite. Sadly, they chickened out and instead named the vessel the RRS Sir David Attenborough (yawn), although in the spirit of compromise they did give one of the aquatic vehicles attached to the ship the “Boaty” tag.

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In the case of MassDOT’s snowplow naming contest, entries — due by Dec. 23 — will come from elementary and middle school classrooms rather than individuals, so it’s possible they’re counting on some prudent self-editing among the teachers in order to fend off suggestions of Plowy McPlowface and the like. Regardless, we suspect that should anything undignified manage to squeak through, the offending appellations will be summarily kiboshed by the MassDOT powers that be.

That’s where we, and you, come in. What would you name a Massachusetts snowplow if you were given your druthers, unencumbered by a need to come up with something dignified? Let us know in the survey form below, or email us at [email protected], and we’ll share the suggestions in a future article. (The ones suitable for a family audience, at least.)

Unlike the MassDOT contest, we won’t be giving out $100 gift cards for school supplies to the winning entries. But you will have bragging rights.

What would you name a Massachusetts snowplow?

While you shouldn't feel encumbered by rules of decorum or the dictates of polite society, please note that we can't print names that include profanities. Although we will definitely share them around the office.
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