Stephen Colbert introduces the world to ‘Boston Hand Sanitizer’ on ‘Late Show’

"You want sanitizer, you're in luck. Try our product, Yankees suck!"


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Only one day after learning about Boston accents from John Krasinski, “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” mined the local elocution for comedy once more.

On the heels of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announcing that the state would produce its own hand sanitizer amid shortages due to the coronavirus, Tuesday’s “Late Show” cold open imagined what would happen if Boston followed suit.

In the sketch, “Late Show” writers Brian Stack and Django Gold play pitchmen for Boston Hand Sanitizer, hawking a germ-killing solution made with clam chowder and a six-pack of Sam Adams Boston Lager.


“This sanitizer puts New York to shame, just like we did in the 2004 ALCS,” Stack said. “Dave Roberts was too fast for Mariano bro. Sorry bro, too fast!”

Cuomo’s plan to use prison labor to manufacture the state’s hand sanitizer has been criticized in some circles, but that wouldn’t be a problem with Boston Hand Sanitizer, according to Stack.

“It’s made by people who should be in prison, but they got off ‘cuz they’re wicked smart,” Stack said.

Setting aside whether Bostonians would call their sandwiches “grinders” like Stack does in the sketch โ€” a pair of linguistic studies show that New England is the only region in America where “grinder” has widespread use, but most Bostonians just call them subs โ€” the Dave Roberts reference is spot-on, as is the product’s catchy jingle (“You want sanitizer, you’re in luck. Try our product, Yankees suck!”).


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