Entertainment

The best jokes from the 2022 Oscars opening monologue

"After years of Hollywood ignoring women's stories, this year we finally got a movie about the incredible Williams sisters'... dad."

Hosts Amy Schumer, from left, Wanda Sykes, and Regina Hall appear on stage during the 94th Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles, on Sunday, March 27, 2022. (Ruth Fremson/The New York Times)
Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes, and Regina Hall hosted the 94th Academy Awards. Ruth Fremson/The New York Times

The 2022 Oscars became the first Academy Awards since 2018 to have a host — or hosts, in this case.

Shortly after a bravura performance from Beyonce Knowles, co-hosts Regina Hall, Amy Schumer, and Wanda Sykes took the stage for an opening monologue, with the comic actresses slinging hilarious one-liners that skewered the assembled talent.

Among the trio’s targets included the Academy itself, the Massachusetts-filmed “Don’t Look Up,” and its star, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Here are the best jokes and one-liners from the trio’s opening monologues at the 2022 Oscars.

— “This year, the academy hired three women to host because it’s cheaper than hiring one man.”

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— “You know, there was a lot of snubs this year. Rachel Zegler for ‘West Side Story.’ Jennifer Hudson for ‘Respect.’ And Lady Gaga and Jared Leto for ‘House of Random Accents.'”

— “This is kind of sad; you know what’s in the In Memoriam package this year? The Golden Globes. They didn’t have any Black people. They didn’t have any Black members. They had to go.”

— “I’m Amy Schumer. Or as they know me in Hollywood, Melissa McCarthy said no.”

— “I just want to congratulate all of you. During a raging pandemic you made a movie. Give yourself a hand. that’s incredible. And yet they weren’t all great. A lot of them were pretty hard to understand. You know who you are. I didn’t see many — any — of them. I didn’t see them. But I had a toddler, so I just watched ‘Encanto’ 190 times.”

— “After years of Hollywood ignoring women’s stories, this year we finally got a movie about the incredible Williams sisters’… dad.”

— “‘Don’t Look Up’ is nominated. I guess the Academy members ‘don’t look up’ reviews.”

— “Leonardo DiCaprio, what can I even say about him? He’s done so much to fight climate change and leave behind a cleaner, greener planet for his girlfriends.”

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— “Aaron Sorkin, a genius. The innovation to make a movie about Lucille Ball without even a moment that’s funny. You’re Aaron Sorkin, how do you make a movie about the most iconic female comedian with not one laugh. Brilliant! It’s like making a biopic about Michael Jordan and only showing the bus trips between games.”

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