An expert’s 4 tips for finding balance in your life

"There's only one of you in the world. And that's who you need to be."

Meditation.
Meditation. –Image via stock.adobe.com

Do you feel like you’re juggling a lot and need more balance?

“I call it feeling like an octopus,” said Lynda Cormier, an expert in leadership and personal development, the co-founder and co-CEO of international wellness company GIA Wellness, and the mother of two grown children. “There’s somebody pulling on every tentacle at the same time, and you can’t move forward.”

The Californian traveled to Boston this week for Women Entrepreneurs Boston Week (WE BOS), a weeklong series of free events that support and promote women entrepreneurs throughout the city. She’ll teach a workshop Wednesday at District Hall titled “How to discover balance in your life when everything feels like a priority.”

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Ahead, Cormier shares four ways to bring more balance to your life.

1. Be fully present.

Commit to being fully present in your relationships, Cormier said.

“Being fully present means you are with them in mind, body, and soul,” she said. “You are fully listening, not just hearing.”

That sometimes means ditching the urge to multitask, she said.

“Multitasking is a great concept but, realistically, you can’t give 100 percent of yourself to one thing if you’re doing more than one thing,” she said.

For example, if you are folding laundry and trying to listen to your child tell you about his or her day, you are not really being present for your child, Cormier said. People can tell when you’re not present, even during a phone conversation, she said.

“If you are fully present, you enjoy your relationships more, and you enjoy life more,” she said.

2. Enlist everyone on your team in your vision.

When you’re juggling a lot of things, you feel out of balance, Cormier said.

Talking with “your team” in advance about a goal that’s taking up so much of your time can go a long way, she said. Your “team” can mean your family, your friends, or your coworkers.

If you’re working extra hours to save for a vacation, for example, then communicate that to your family ahead of time.

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“Prepare your team in advance,” she said. “Say, for example, [to your child] ‘Mommy is going to be working a lot in the next month and it’s going to be very busy.”

Having that preliminary conversation will help to alleviate feelings of guilt and imbalance when things get hectic, she said.

“Whatever the vision is, it’s really important that the whole team is enlisted,” she said.

3. Don’t overthink things.

“[Women] tend to take responsibility for things,” Cormier said. “We feel bad about things. We overthink what others are thinking of us.”

This behavior can lead to worry and doubt, she said.

“All that beautiful brain power that we have, when we’re overthinking, we’re devoting some of our precious bandwidth to worry and overthinking,” Cormier said. “It really is like poison, worry and doubt. It infiltrates other areas of our life and contributes to feeling out of balance.”

By kicking worry and doubt to the curb, you have more room for joy, and that’s good news for everyone, she said.

“When you feel more joy and balance in your life, you have more to give,” Cormier said. “You cannot give what you don’t have.”

4. Disconnect from technology.

In our super-connected society, we’re surprisingly disconnected, Cormier said. We’ve become more accustomed to virtual conversations and, when we are with people, we’re not always fully present due to our devices, she said.

“It is really important to disconnect sometimes,” Cormier said.

We are “bombarded by this wireless world,” and sometimes it can result in feeling pressure to keep up, she said.

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“Everyone is striving to be something they see on technology,” she said.

It’s important to remember that people often post the very best of themselves on platforms like Facebook and Instagram, Cormier said. When you disconnect, you can be who you are and stop aspiring to be someone you are not, she said.

“Just be you,” Cormier said. “There’s only one of you in the world. And that’s who you need to be.”

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