This unsent letter, written by a 28-year-old, was composed on the Notes app of a mobile phone, and sent to us as screen shots. That makes sense to me because the writer of this letter is clearly experiencing her unrequited feelings in a world where social media tells stories, and pictures are public. She has access to images of her love’s new partner. It’s heartbreaking. It’s also hard not to look.
“I’m guessing your silence tells me all I need to know? I wish it surprised me … any of it. I didn’t know what I could’ve done better? I tried so hard to be what you needed & who you wanted. Sure you know I really did fall for you. That I really have loved you. That I meant all of it. Maybe it’s dumb or crazy … but I really believed I’d found my person in you. I thought you were everything I wanted. I wish I had a way to know if I ever actually meant anything to you.
I’m sorry I didn’t catch on sooner. I’m sure anyone else would have. I feel like the largest fool.
I truly wish you the best, though. Maybe I shouldn’t? … But I do. I genuinely hope she makes you as happy as y’all look in your pictures. Regardless of whatever y’all’s relationship is … it’s pretty easy to see she’s in love with you.
I wish I had a way to make you want you [sic] like I want you. I don’t think I have what it takes to say ‘goodbye’ or block you or anything. I definitely don’t right now. But I’ll do my best to leave you alone. I promise.’’
The letter writer tells us the current status of her relationship with this man is “complicated.’’ He has told her he will choose between her and this other woman. “I’m still hoping he might choose me,’’ she writes.
Asked whether she regrets not sending the letter, she answered, “Not yet.’’
Boston Globe readers get an additional 15% off Esther Perel’s Rekindling Desire, an online workshop for couples and individuals looking to keep the spark of desire alive in their relationships. To redeem, use code GLOBE here. The Boston Globe may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers.