Now that we are down to the final two men—hunky former athlete Josh Murray and clever but devious charmer Nick Viall—it’s time to take a step back and review the season. Chris Harrison is joined by a dozen or so of the fallen contenders to get their take on all the drama.
Here’s what we learned in this two-hour special:
1. Former Bachelorette Ashley Hebert and her final rose recipient J.P. Rosenbaum are knocked up! But this news in itself is not exciting enough for the ABC producers. To up the ante, they roll out an ultrasound machine to reveal the baby’s sex on national television. Umm gross. (P.S. It’s a boy.)
2. The “Bachelor in Paradise’’ is coming. We get a sneak peak at the amazingly trashy spin-off show in which “Bachelor’’ and “Bachelorette’’ cast-offs are thrown together on a tropical island where they can finally be as slutty as they want with as many people as they want. We gotta say, it looks awesome. Keep an eye out for this season’s rejected contestants Marquel, Marcus, Cody, and Dylan.
3. Everyone still hates Andrew for his alleged racist comment and his alleged two-timing of Andi with a restaurant hostess. Andrew does a terrible job defending himself (digging a deeper hole by accidentally calling Marquel by the name of the only other black contestant), and comes off as a smarmy liar. Seriously dude, you’ve had months to prepare for this night and this is the best you can do?
4. People aren’t too happy with JJ either. He spent his time on the show stirring the pot like a high school girl and then dropping his gossip bombs around the house at times that were convenient for him. The best thing that JJ has going for him is that Marquel, who has endless social capital at this point, calls him a good friend and stands by him.
5. Marquel is the best. In his confrontation with Andrew, he remained articulate, level-headed, and totally classy. Plus he’s brought cookies for the entire audience, Oprah-style. (“You get a cookie! You get a cookie!’’)
6. Marcus will never love again. Just kidding, he’s fine. In fact, he’s already packed his bags for the “Bachelor in Paradise.’’ We also get the results of the lie detector test he took earlier in the season and learn that Marcus lied when he said he’d slept with fewer than 20 women. He should be right at home in Paradise.
7. Farmer Chris is getting majorly set up to be the next Bachelor. “Where do you go from here?’’ ask Chris Harrison, after the requisite Andi-dumped-me-and-I’m-so-sad montage. Hint, hint, hint. Then some scantily clad Canadian comes down from the audience and finagles a “speed date’’ with Chris during the commercial break. Subtext: lots of women would sign up to date Chris.
8. Internet rumors to the contrary, Andi is not knocked up.
9. It’s going to be a close race between the final two, Josh and Nick. Sometimes you get to this point in the season and the winner is obvious. This time, it looks like the last episode is shaping up to be a nail biter.
We can hardly believe it, but next week is the season finale! Make sure to watch at 8pm, July 28 to see who gets Andi’s final rose and whether she goes home with a Neil Lane-approved diamond on her finger.