BDC Now: ‘Tiny Detectives’ Are the Worst Detectives

Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson left some big shoes to fill on the set of True Detective, but that didn’t stop two really tiny actresses from trying their best anyway. That, a lesson about true love from two zoo animals in Poland, and much more, today on BDC Now.

This ‘True Detective’ Remake Needs to Think Bigger

Ellen Page and Kate Mara missed out on the lead roles in the second season of True Detective, and they know exactly why. It wasn’t because they are women and the roles ended up going to two men. And it wasn’t because they were pestering HBO and show creator Nic Pizzolatto way back in March about it. It’s because they would be terrible detectives. Just look at this video the two made and you’ll understand why. There’s no way the diminutive actresses could catch a killer when they are clumsily tearing apart crime scenes, using a booster seat to reach their car’s pedals, and carrying around comically oversized guns and badges. It just wouldn’t work. So move on, ladies. Maybe you can find some roles in a modern day adaptation of Little Women.

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Technology is Everywhere and Its Making Us Dumber

Have you ever noticed that when you’re watching TV and you’ve got your laptop open and your phone is buzzing on the couch next to you, you get angry at any little interruption and basically start acting like a caveman staring at a fire? Turns out, that’s not really a coincidence. New research actually shows that there is some evidence that media multi-tasking is impacting the brain, and (surprise, surprise) it’s not in a good way. According to the study, there’s a link between media multi-tasking and reduced grey matter in the area of the brain that controls “cognitive and emotional control functions.’’ And if it’s all unclear what that means, here’s the simple explanation: reduced grey matter in that area leads to “poor attention in the face of distractions, along with emotional problems such as depression and anxiety.’’ So for the love of God, put down the iPad, shut off the TV, and stop texting for a second. You’re supposed to be reading this article, so just try and focus on that for a second, okay?

Social Media: An Ever-Changing Landscape of Absolute Nonsense

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Finally, there’s a way to get our Facebook fix without actually using Facebook. It’s called Ello, a new social media network being described as “The Anti-Facebook,’’ that promises to always be user-friendly and ad-free. And, unsurprisingly, there’s a pretty big market for people who want a social network that doesn’t sell their information or force auto-playing videos into their feeds. Ello is seeing 4,000 new sign-ups every hour and is doubling its user base every few days, essentially taking us down the path where Facebook becomes the new Myspace, Myspace becomes the new Friendster, and Friendster becomes that Internet version of that weird bar that stays open despite never having any customers.

New Clippers Owner Steve Ballmer is Oddly Loyal

You don’t earn billions of dollars in net worth without being a little crazy, and Steve Ballmer is the perfect example if there ever was one. Look at this guy: He can’t hold a press conference without screaming at the top of his lungs; he dresses up in costume to pitch his products like he’s some kind of off-brand ShamWow huckster; and now the former Microsoft CEO is using his newly-purchased NBA franchise to act out some weird, grudge-driven fantasy against Apple. Ballmer announced Thursday that he would be replacing the Los Angeles Clippers’ iPads with Microsoft Surface tablets. No offense, Steve, but you don’t even work for Microsoft anymore. Maybe it’s time to give up the fight. You’re worth $20 billion, after all. Don’t you have better things you could be doing with your time?

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These Polish Donkeys Know a Thing or Two About True Love

The United States is pretty bad at a lot of things, but this might take the cake: Two donkeys in Poland have had a more successful relationship than most Americans. That’s right: Napoleon and Antosia have been together for 10 years, while most married American couples get divorced after just eight. That’s pretty sad. But what really adds insult to injury is that the two donkeys aren’t even autonomous. They live at a zoo and were actually forced to do the whole long-distance relationship thing after a mother complained about her children witnessing the animals mating. But since donkey love apparently conquers all things, a petition of 7,000 signatures and two Facebook pages with 10,000 fans have brought the two back together. It’s an inspiring story, really, though it might be best if they got a room the next time a field trip comes through.

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