Hello Meredith,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost eight years. We are both divorced and in our late 40s. Though we’ve had some trust issues in the past (i.e., he was a weasel), he’s been on the straight and narrow for several years now and we’ve been very happy together.

My question is this: Last night an ad for Tinder popped up on his phone’s lock screen. I wasn’t snooping; it was charging on the bedside table and lit up. When I asked him why that would appear, he claimed ignorance but then said “but I’m not even on Facebook right now.” I’m not tech savvy enough to know if an ad would appear if he used to have the app but not anymore. Or if he never had it? And his answer about not being on Facebook definitely threw me. He claims he only knew you needed to log on through Facebook because his best friend uses it (which is true, I’ve been around while they discussed).

But how would he know that? Without bludgeoning me, am I not seeing the obvious here? Is he back to his old ways or is it possible that an ad could appear without his ever having had the app? I know I don’t get those ads.

I threw him out last night but just want to be sure before I bail completely. I forgave him once years ago but I’m not going to do it again. I feel stupid even asking, but don’t want to give up after eight years because I don’t understand how pop-up ads work. Thank you and please be gentle, readers.

– Ignorance is bliss?