What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
It’s the day after my birthday. That means you should send a letter with a question about your love life. It’s how we stay connected. Send to [email protected] or fill out this form. I’m ready to read all of your problems.
I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months now. I have never loved a woman as much as her. We first ran into each other visiting a tourist attraction, and we bonded over our love of rare comic books. She is my dream woman.
She recently told me she is moving on from me and is ready to date another man. I have told her that I am willing to enter a throuple relationship with her and this man just so I can be with her. Even if it means sharing a bed with another man, I do not care. My love for her knows no bounds. Am I being too desperate? Should I move on? Thank you for the advice.
Addressing the throuple idea first: is that even on the table? Is this man interested in you too? (Maybe he is; I have no idea.) You might be thinking about a non-monogamous relationship where your girlfriend – or you – could have other partners. But let’s not jump to throupling just yet.
I’m all for nontraditional relationships that involve more than two people. For some, a one-on-one romantic partnership, the kind we’ve been taught to believe is “normal,” doesn’t feel good or healthy at all. There are so many other ways to partner with people.
But in your case (sorry, you knew a “but” was coming), you do not want your girlfriend to be with this other person. You don’t want to have to share your partner, right?. You’re simply willing to take whatever she’ll give you to keep her around. That’s no good. A “dream woman” wouldn’t require you to scramble, making yourself uncomfortable, to get her to stay.
If she can’t give you what you want, you should let her go. There are many other people who love rare comic books. They gather online and in person … and in comic book stores. Go find some and let them keep you company.
Readers? Feel free to help. 🙂
Have advice for today’s letter writer? Be helpful. Be clever. Get your comment featured here.Meredith
Sign up for the Love Letters newsletter for announcements, hand-picked letters, and other great updates from the desk of Meredith Goldstein
Stay up to date with everything Boston. Receive the latest news and breaking updates, straight from our newsroom to your inbox.