“I didn’t have a real reason to end things.”

Boredom after a month seems like a solid reason to me.

“Am I not over my ex?”

You might just be tired. Breaking up takes energy. Getting over it requires all of the tasks you listed above – reframing your life and priorities after four years of routine. It’s all good post-breakup work, but it’s still work. Maybe you’re not ready to push forward and get excited about someone new because you need to rest that part of your brain.

Also, it’s possible you haven’t met anyone who’s a possible match. It can take a long time – and a lot of first dates – before you feel that click.

You can take a break from app dating for a bit (assuming that’s how you’re meeting people), and maybe that’ll give you time to relax and reset – to enjoy what you’ve built on your own, as opposed to starting another project.

If you continue meeting people because that’s what feels right, you will have to accept that some good dates will be at a B-minus for connection. But all you need is a seed. A feeling of maybe. One good joke. Even a second where you think, “OK, this person’s face is nice.” Then, yeah, you see what grows. It can be fruitless and time-consuming, but sometimes it leads to something good.

Remember, you’re not looking for a replacement for a partner of four years. Right now, let’s make it a search for good company.

– Meredith

Readers? Time to take a break?