Here’s a brief episode summary for those who don’t listen to the podcast: A guest talks about being dumped the same day he found out his closest relative (his grandma) was dying. He thought it was a cruel move on the part of his ex. In the end, though, he realizes that there was no good time to be dumped, and that his not-so-great boyfriend did him a favor by getting out of his way so that he could lean on people who planed to stick around.

Some might disagree, but I do believe what I said in that episode, which was that his boyfriend did the right thing by ending it (although, I suppose he could have waited one day before delivering more bad news). As you get older, it gets harder to find a good time to break up. School-year breakups come naturally; summer hits and it can be an easy goodbye. But once you’re in a routine and life doesn’t have obvious pauses, it’s difficult to find an obvious moment for an ending. Also, there’s often some problem outside of the relationship that makes it a bad time. How many people are putting off a breakup right now because of COVID-19? How many people stay together longer than they want to because they don’t want to abandon someone who needs them?

Your boyfriend’s grandfather is dying. Over time, your boyfriend will experience loss and grief and will need support … from someone. It doesn’t have to be you. You can talk to him about this; let him know you don’t see a future together. You can explain that you want to be supportive, but that you’re wondering whether it would be better for him to call on a community of people who plan to be around forever.

He knows the fight happened. He knows there’s been drama. It might not be easy, but it’s time.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you break up with someone when they’re going through something difficult?